I’m not forcing fandom onto anyone who couldn’t care less, I respect you.
I stress I was on the fence about being a fan of “XXXTENTACION” being a person that separates artist from art… their art is how they release themselves, I can’t really take that from someone, I couldn’t find myself to stop listening to his music. After I found out he was an Aquarius, born a day after me, I took the time to really go back and learn about the young man the best I could. Which gave me a lot of clarity on his actions, he was vocal about how his mind worked, and he had pride..therefore I found myself “understanding him instead of making judgement” and I don’t regret that.
When I first watched the video I watched it just to see this young man, then I watched it again to really watch it, then I watched it again because I couldn’t answer these question honestly in my own head..which is where I should be the most comfortable, then I watched it again to finish assuring I comprehended it , then I watched it again to make sure I saw what I seen and comprehended what I understood, and I did all this crying because I felt bad for myself and him. Jahseh, X, was able to capture the dark truth which is something I more than appreciate and it encouraged/encourages me to be honest. We all go through trials and people try to sugar coat their vices to avoid embarrassment and critique and sometimes that’s what we need. It took his mistakes to be publicized and him to be crucified for him to really understand that he might not have understood. Mass majority of the world didn’t acknowledge that, mass majority of the world does not look at anything as a butterfly effect as in; because of this it’s that; because of that there is this .. and that is like that because possibly! It’s more than one way to live, learn, and grow. His growth was cut short and it bothers me, honestly, I know I went thru different levels of growth, anger, isolation to be who I am right now & I’m not done. So to see his effort went unappreciated to some, many, which I can’t imagine how discouraging that could be because 1 single person can mess us up mentally and slow you down. Picture thousands if not millions of people reminding you that you can’t become better to assure the same mistakes stop reoccurring while trying to become the person they want you to be. All of this ties into me because I can relate to the theory of growing and becoming in touch with new perspectives and I had to learn that not everyone grows at the same time and if you arent willing to help someone who is willing to help themselves then you contribute to the problem.. XXXTENTACTION death showed me everyone has deep-rooted hate in them, well solidified the idea, and I’m here walking among these same people trying to assure myself it’s nothing wrong with me for being able to speak on MYSELF truthfully regarding the good, bad, and ugly while people are in denial about their own truths.
I’m not forcing fandom onto anyone who can couldn’t care less, I respect you I’m just displaying how I learn as I live.
I’d love to know why you love and why you hate. You can message me personally or comment
LONG LIVE XXXTENTACION MAY HE REST IN PEACE
4 thoughts on “No Title”
Love this! I feel the exact same way about love but it’s so hard to put all those thoughts and feelings to words where others can relate and understand. Beautiful, love u ❤
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Love you too!!
I love because it gives purpose when you think there is none. There’s always something to love. Even times when you think you want to die, you think about those you love and you see a reason not to. I hate because it’s a very strong feeling that’s almost tangible. It’s easy to hate. It makes me feel stronger, the rage fuels a fire of passion, which is kind of a substitute for love. I also believe that you can only hate what you once loved, which is why it can be used to cope with heartbreak etc. if you’ve ever hated something you never loved then it’s not hate, it’s a mere dislike.
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