Apology Shmology

An Apology is

1. a) an admission of error or discourtesy accompanied by an expression of regret. b) an expression of regret for not being able to do something.

2. a) something that is said or written to defend something that other people criticize. b) excuse.

I know and understand the significance of an apology ideally. It’s to right wrongs, acknowledge mistakes, and so on but essentially they rub me the wrong way.

I was never a fan of accepting an apology, I tried for the sake of the people who give them to me but it doesn’t feel sincere to accept such a, what I consider worthless, gesture. I assume I appreciate hearing someone say their faults in situations but after that I much rather them deal with that among themselves.

I’ll always feel like “you did it, own it, because if you really knew how it would effect me or make me feel you probably would’ve refrained from doing yet! You wanted to do it, so you did it. Own it.” I don’t look at that as grudge holding either I relate it to accountability.

It might also be the only way I can control something that has gotten out hand because in wise reconsideration the ball is back in my court and I can determine what’s next. In a sense it brings me satisfaction that you can’t enjoy yourself due to your guilt, brings me even more satisfaction knowing you’re aware you let me down.

I’ll link a read regarding how I do move forward, if I decide to, without accepting an apology essentially here.

S/N: Just because I decline you’re apology doesn’t imply I have any resentment towards you and also won’t still interact with you.