To whom, to those, to all! For what!

Being “misunderstood” plus unwilling to compromise I wonder do I still serve my purpose. I believe I was created to rebuild the mind of! I’ll sacrifice myself on behalf of producing a new mind, outlook on life, anything. I’m willing to give since I know the take will forever stand in the way of your thoughts.

I don’t recommend this to everyone, I’m okay because I can rebuild myself, when I what you can say “destroy” myself in a sense. In this process I also learn the reasons and motives of others making me be more understanding overall therefore the next person I come across can also gain a new level of mental/emotional, understanding.

I’m not sure why I feel the need to make this my responsibility, I take that back. I do this because it’s a lack of open-mess worldwide so if I can stress the aspects of difference being perfectly fine it’s the least I can do. It’s a way of helping develop the process of “understanding” become easier.

Trial and error taught me most of, as in 60% including my mother & sister being open with their trial and errors to go off of boosting it to probably 87%, not everyone is able to make mistakes.. openly. Let alone be okay with making a mistake and having the time to actually learn something from it. So the fact I can take advantage of that on behalf of those not able to you begin to think of it like you’re just doing a favor.

Now The mind is so complex even when people “think” they’ve disregarded what I’ve done keyword being WILLINGLY they go back on it trying to make it not make sense… essentially just making it make sense but not admitting it.. or at least admitting it openly. Which is fine. I don’t do it for notoriety but I figured out the discrepancy on why some people don’t favor me.

& With all the good comes the bad.

Unfortunately my biggest pet peeve when doing all this is some people are just unperceptive and it’s sad. I understood it’s the concept of being guarded. Being so closed off in order to “protect” yourself can eventually be equivalent to looking out a window with your eyes closed. You miss out on everything and just reiterate the idea of being scared of… whatever. All this is fine by the way I’m not here to tell you it’s wrong but to STRESS you can use me, whether it be in secret, bi-weekly, everyday. As a bit of “guidance” in many aspects of life as I continue learning as I live.

& all this applies to anything. I’m speaking on behalf of dealing with others for the most part.

I wonder does all that get overshadowed because of who I am and how I choose to be…

Embracing Yourself, Learning Yourself

I really do not have “advice” at this time just perspective

I’m doing what I do to the best I can.

I love myself, I’m not completely sure why yet, like I’m aware of my wonderful character.

Am I sure truly sure of myself?

Am I sincerely embracing myself If I’m still worried about how others, will, perceive me?

I wouldn’t say I second guess myself for validation from others but for their comfort. Whenever

I consider “what if they don’t like me?” often enough to reconsider how I express myself, how I go about my appearance, or even just reconsidering my choices for the comfort of others. I’ve noticed that no one ever notices or says thank you. “Thank you for restructuring yourself to make sure i’m comfortable even though you might not be.” Conflicted often because I don’t necessarily care about how a person perceives me, especially if they don’t ask clarifying questions straight from the source(me), but also realizing maybe I care to much about myself caring about if I care about how a person perceives me at all. Maybe the problem is people don’t see me how I see myself and that’s deeper than any appearance discrepancy. They don’t see what I have to offer to the world as an individual & the fact how I choose to present myself for myself can detour what others think of me might actually be what bothers me. Single handed appearance and character are intertwined invalidly because you look like “this” you must feel as “that” and that’s usually never the case. It bothers me that a person might not give me a chance regarding anything because I might not meet their idea of attractiveness or express myself through my appearance correctly to them. It’s hard finding balance for something you don’t even feel the need to balance. It’s even harder having to always prove yourself that you are what you know you are but people just refuse to see it.

My overall conclusion is I just have to steady remind myself that not everybody is going to like all aspects of me and that’s fine. Those who don’t but still desire to see the good in me I’ll always appreciate. Those who love me unconditionally forever I love back but regardless of any feelings towards me I must stay true to me.

Now I’m living.

Risk

Post 16

Now before I get started understand I’m willing to receive a lot of hate in order to defend what I’m fond of , respect me for it ! At least I’ll burn with integrity

Something that truly irritates me is the fact you have to choose self respect verses you’re success these days, you can’t just live your life accordingly without risking your livelihood. We as people have independent morals, beliefs, and senses that we stand by but we must tone it down in order to make sure we don’t ruin ourselves because people don’t know how to allow more than one perception of an individual to flourish.

No, This doesn’t include the derogatory mess some of you refer to as ‘opinions’ regarding race, sexuality, & sexism among other things that don’t even effect you personally but consider to speak out the ass about so, don’t quote me in reference to such confusion considered a ‘moral’, ‘belief’, or ‘sense’.

I’ve always had that “you’re weird.” ‘Problem’ to be frank I still do and it’s so hard to disregard honestly. Only because it’s portrayed that being this extraordinary individual isn’t comforting to others so it isn’t likable since it lacks the norm, From my perspective I don’t get why your incomparable flow couldn’t awaken the minds of others that in fact you can be.. Different!  Just like being told “you’re pretty” or any compliment you hold onto it, the same rules apply to the negativity especially when you’re building yourself up to help you evolve and although being “weird” isn’t something necessarily negative it’s also not something to be fond about. It makes you second guess yourself and it makes you live within a box that doesn’t let satisfy your urge to free yourself.

What I wonder is why people pressure others to continue to not be ‘unhappy’ by not respecting them express themselves while they know how it feels to stay secret.

I don’t think people realize It’s a lack of respect for Originality these days. It’s okay to put out whatever as long as the people like you.  “Be something others can relate to.” As if that’s impossible to do just because something is abnormal a mass amount of people aren’t accepting of what’s ‘irregular’. To me if you, being you is relatable to one let alone a few then it will encourage many to take pride in any and everything regarding them.

Looking back, personally, I’ve sold myself short many times when it comes to self expression for the sake of people to like me. People who didn’t even pay attention to the fact I was like them after I purposely dedicated time to their acceptance.  As a kid, teenager, young creative you are not aware that a person should like you because you are you and not who you should be. That’s as far as it should go though, once we reach a fine moment in adulthood we must start embracing and living for ourselves.

Confinement“, a word developed from the root word “confine” which is a noun that means “the borders or boundaries of a place, especially regard to their restricting freedom of movement”

The featured photo is from the Bad Boy Record label Photo shoot showcasing the release of Craig Mack & Notorious B.I.G new music incorporating the infamous McDonald’s Big Mac.

Crazy Like That Glue – Craig Mack Documentary

Surprise Song, Enjoy it

Time is a terrible thing to waste.

post 15

Now before I get started understand I’m willing to receive a lot of hate in order to defend what I’m fond of, respect me for it! At least I’ll burn with integrity.

We have this weird obsession with blaming time on why we’re miserable even if its temporary.  “Time” what is time? Have you seen “In Time” starring Justin Timberlake? Great movie if you haven’t.

  • TIME is a noun meaning 1. The indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future regarded as a whole.2.A point of time as measured in hours and minutes past midnight or noon.

People trap themselves in all aspects of life when they think time has a lot to do with things that have no actual deadline.

Everyone likes to blame the reason they are in a you could say non beneficial relationship on “time”. An Excuse to remain in distress is ” I’ve invested to much time.” even though I understand I don’t think people understand as much time as they’ve invested they have wasted. The point emphasized is that they don’t have time to waste yet remain in a stagnant relationship with no growth, which sounds like a waste of time to me.

Career wise we believe we’re running out of time only because we see it never stops so we must have it all together in a timely fashion instead of focusing on getting it done in general.

We don’t enjoy life to the fullest due to “time” we feel as if we must grow up at a certain speed instead of enjoying time as it progresses, we rush it. Isn’t it ironic we rush to grow up just to grow into feeling like were running out of time even when moving forward in a timely matter.

The only time we admire the beauty within time is when we’re getting off of work, waiting for that class to be over and living legends. People who stand for something wish to live on forever meaning the have outlived time because their words, paintings, music, or fashions continue to stay relevant after we’ve turned to dust.

Sam Is Dead w/ Visual – Odd Future

This cover was from the movie ” House Party 2″

Fashion makes the world go round

Post 8

Now before I get started understand I’m willing to receive a lot of hate in order to defend what I’m fond of , respect me for it ! At least I’ll burn with integrity.

You can dress any way you want to dress, there’s always Someone who’s going to like it along with the people who might feel it but wont give you your props then it’s the People who won’t respect your creative choices when cominbing pieces, those are the regular dressing people who rather see the world with no character because they have no character themselves, but don’t sweat it because eventually they’ll put on something and won’t feel to comfortable do to the fact they’ve teased others and that’s just life. I say this because I have experienced it myself (I happen not to be a complete Matcher as in I don’t dress following color coordination)  I have even said negative comments about someone’s attire & wondered why someone was able to walk out looking “ridiculous” then I realized it was self confidence they are self aware of who they are and want the world to see the self love via fabrics & colors. I feel as if fashion is one of the most disrespected self expressions in the world because everything was so structured previously so the fact so many years later it’s basically no preferred look is still not “normal” to others who aren’t use to change or open mindedness.

My biggest pet peeve is when someone who has no character feel as if they can talk down on someone else’s style preference, I believe even if you don’t like something it’s okay to have an opinion about it but DO NOT KNOCK IT. It might not seem like it but it’ll probably break the persons spirit 9 times out 10.

  • Don’t assume you know someone because of how they dress, clothes can be used to express anything from yourself to your feelings, I get approached many different ways because of how I dress, I try not to let it actually bother me, anymore, but it’s still a “what the fuck” type of vibe.
  • If you like it, please wear it, wear it with pride.
  • When you get dressed make sure you’re putting a smile on your face.
  • If you don’t feel like THE WHOLE WORLD NEEDS TO SEE YOU FIT, take it off.
  • Don’t be a yes man and have your friend out here looking unpresentable, it should be a little logic to it
  • You might just like to follow trends, but because of that do not think you’re better than anyone else because at the end of the you FOLLOW not lead by example, you seen someone else and was inspired.
  • Half of the world that disses fashion the most doesn’t know the difference between polyester, silk, and satin.
  • It’s a difference between Inspiration & blatantly copying unapologetically & that is rude.
  • Designer isn’t always important!!!

When people don’t acknowledge where they get an idea from, it’s okay to say “___ is an influence in my lifestyle” that’s all considered showing love, hating takes 5-15 years off a persons healthspan, do better!

Camp Flog Gnaw Carnival 2016 

Some of the best 3 hundred dollars I’ve spent In a long time. The environment is so beautiful & the vibes you come across are instilled in your heart because the strangers you see along with meet are so carefree that it makes you proud to say you’ve taken place in such a chill event, especially since the brains behind it happen to be a misunderstood soul who genius ways get overlooked, When I tell some ppl That I’m going to Camp Flog Gnaw they feel as if it’s full of Ignorance & ruthless kids with no manners, and that makes you wish they were here to see all the kind & sincere love.

I enjoy this event because to know your in the same environment as the people you happen to adore just makes you feel good then you also think about how not weird you are because here is thousands of people enjoying the same things as you so it’s “regular”.

This event brings so many ppl together it’s truly beautiful every time I come here I create many new friendships & I love it because those are memories that live on forever with me.

Here are some Fellow Floggers xoxo

Left to right: @oddbreycuzz (Taurus – from Oakland,Ca) @Caliafrican (Leo – from Oakland,Ca traveled from Northridge,Ca) @Jazlynnrenay – (Scorpio from Los Angles,Ca)
@Tonyscreation
Left to right: @JusticeChardonnay (Gemini – Traveled from Bakersfield) @Brittaineeb
@visionbysonny – His overalls were special because people he came across at the carnival they could write on his overalls. (Pisces – From Dallas,TX lives in Echo Park)
@Crucially_Rapaport – Very Outgoing Taurus
Left: @Rtsyonmmies (Virgo – Traveled from Vallejo,Ca) Their vibe was immortal.
@Siriuslycease (Gemini – Traveled all the way from Houston) @Fvckingdope_ (Taurus – From Chicago) @thatgreenstone (Leo – Lives in Los Angeles) @Rakeemmilesraps (Traveled from Maryland) @akidnameddomo (Pisces – Traveled from Ohio)
Left to right: @Jillowsmith (Traveled from Cleveland, Ohio) @Just_Kyria (Traveled from Petersburg, Florida)
@BadGalMyia (Gemini – Traveled from Lancaster,Ca)
Left to Right: @Jonnyrsvp @El.Stephane (Traveled from San Diego)
Left to Right: @Milothelight @WhoIsChrisKing (Sagittarius – from Fontana, Ca)
“That’s my Bestfriend, That’s my Bestfriend”
Left to Right: @_toxique @teianottia @rawwkarma_ Spice Gurlz Are Back & They’re Better
Prima Donna
NoName – Sunny Duet