Short Sermon: Spiritual Envy

When you become one with a certain stature of self awareness and sincerity regarding who you are, what you do, along with how you treat people it’s hard to not take the actions of others personally.

No one asks of me to wear my heart, feelings, sensibility, or ability to be whatever on my sleeve but I do so because that’s how I flow. I’m not afraid of the hurt that might come with being so receptive. Such as being emotionally distressed, spiritually disconnected, just completely blindsided by the actions of others it’s all growing pains I appreciate when not used against me.

I understand I might sound too good to be true due to me being straightforward and with that I feel as if you should be proud I see something in you to allow you to ultimately share me with you, in any aspect.

When someone gets the opportunity to infiltrate the secure element you’ve created for yourself I feel like it’s done on purpose. That individual knew they didn’t have what it took, yet they decided to move forward and disrupt instead of self assist in the hopes of becoming better or even realizing that something wasn’t for them.

Selfish.

You can not be sensible and fully unaware of your actions. I know you can’t. I take all actions against me personal because retrospectively it’s a form of attack. You couldn’t conquer me therefore you rather destroy. In the hopes you don’t feel lonely at the bottom of self despair since sinking down is easier than growing up.

Protect yourself, your energy, element, and aura because you’re in control of that. People much rather focus on you and create a diabolical plan to tear you down since they see you as the structure they can’t find the strength to build themselves to become what they long to be.

Spiritual Envy is a different kind of evil.

Wishing everybody much Peace, Joy, and Prosperity! All ways, Always.

Just finished my 20th lap around the sun

I “risk” a lot being myself or staying true to who I am. By not compromising to become what other people want from me and only abiding by what I know to be authenticity, I’m not “universal”. Universal in this universe is to cater to one idea of personal discretion, people tend to start being selfish with you, who you are.

That’s not how I’m willing to live.

Overall the idea of all of that doesn’t necessarily bother me per say. I’m just always being reminded about how much better I’d be, If I were to present myself for the sake of admiration from other people. Which kind of comes across as who I am doesn’t hold much “significance” in retrospect of course. More often than not we are to be molded by someone who doesn’t even live up to their own expectations that they are forcing on you. (Family & society has a bad habit of doing this)

In addition to the social media craze being a guide to insanity, insecurity, and insincerity. It often makes you feel like you’re doing something wrong when you’re simply being yourself in some cases. It’s okay to feel like a failure, usually within the despair that comes with it is hunger to approach whatever better next time. Instead, as of late we’ve been questioning ourselves not for the greater good of ourselves to contribute to bettering us but how to make people like us. So “failure” hits harder since it’s not to be an option. As if it’s a incorrect way to be ourselves to begin with..

Everybody is different! That’s what creates versatility, if we were all on the same page we’d learn nothing new. If we all looked the same the beauty in art would seemingly decrease do to unappreciative outlook. If we all had the same personality we wouldn’t know how to function outside of what we’re use to. I read once “If it wasn’t for villains it would be no heroes.”

What is the point? Are we people pleasing, which is fine I just rather people not pass it for what it’s not and that’s a “I don’t give a fuck attitude” because you do. Are we setting a staple of boarder thinking? Are we longing to be liked, if not loved? Are we looking forward to monetary triumph? What’s the purpose of what we do? Who do we do it for? What do we mean to ourselves?

I read that after we’ve accomplished a goal we don’t realize that the importance was minute because we don’t know what to do next after wading in the success. If you put it into perspective after you’ve accomplished, obtained, or whatever you kind of forget about it. It’s no longer important, you’re bored, on to the next, you did it. Then what.

Point is there’s no blueprint to follow when staying truth to being original. I suppose being lost is part of it all since in the travels to the next destination we elevate.

Regression = Progression

Regression! Sometimes you must backtrack to find depth in what went wrong, what feels incorrect, what the next step is. It’s okay to go back to what you know, don’t feel “guilty”. We know ourselves the best, we know the details of our life that shaped us to be who we’ve become, the feelings we push into oblivion, the wants, and everything else.

Periodically we progress so much we lose touch of what would be the next step in our life. That makes us feel uncomfortable, temporarily, due to confusion. What we once knew is now unfamiliar and while we’re stuck in the realm of ourselves we just don’t know.

We get to a point of finding ourselves going back to what started us, out of boredom or even in remembrance, to inspire us to move in the what would be “correct” direction.

In the game of monopoly (in theory) we go around the same board.. however many times just to essentially better ourselves. So if you feel like old versions of you can contribute to a better you, don’t question it.

By all this I mean everything is a butterfly effect as I say often. So in The trickling down of each situation, memory, or feelings you used as a lesson can be recycled to validate other lessons. It can spark the answers to the “why am I?” “Did I stop because…?”, “what am I doing this for?”, questions we feel like we shouldn’t have to actually think to answer. You can rely on feeling, feelings are important but can also be inadequate, especially when you feel nothing.

Much peace, joy, and prosperity xoxo

To whom, to those, to all! For what!

Being “misunderstood” plus unwilling to compromise I wonder do I still serve my purpose. I believe I was created to rebuild the mind of! I’ll sacrifice myself on behalf of producing a new mind, outlook on life, anything. I’m willing to give since I know the take will forever stand in the way of your thoughts.

I don’t recommend this to everyone, I’m okay because I can rebuild myself, when I what you can say “destroy” myself in a sense. In this process I also learn the reasons and motives of others making me be more understanding overall therefore the next person I come across can also gain a new level of mental/emotional, understanding.

I’m not sure why I feel the need to make this my responsibility, I take that back. I do this because it’s a lack of open-mess worldwide so if I can stress the aspects of difference being perfectly fine it’s the least I can do. It’s a way of helping develop the process of “understanding” become easier.

Trial and error taught me most of, as in 60% including my mother & sister being open with their trial and errors to go off of boosting it to probably 87%, not everyone is able to make mistakes.. openly. Let alone be okay with making a mistake and having the time to actually learn something from it. So the fact I can take advantage of that on behalf of those not able to you begin to think of it like you’re just doing a favor.

Now The mind is so complex even when people “think” they’ve disregarded what I’ve done keyword being WILLINGLY they go back on it trying to make it not make sense… essentially just making it make sense but not admitting it.. or at least admitting it openly. Which is fine. I don’t do it for notoriety but I figured out the discrepancy on why some people don’t favor me.

& With all the good comes the bad.

Unfortunately my biggest pet peeve when doing all this is some people are just unperceptive and it’s sad. I understood it’s the concept of being guarded. Being so closed off in order to “protect” yourself can eventually be equivalent to looking out a window with your eyes closed. You miss out on everything and just reiterate the idea of being scared of… whatever. All this is fine by the way I’m not here to tell you it’s wrong but to STRESS you can use me, whether it be in secret, bi-weekly, everyday. As a bit of “guidance” in many aspects of life as I continue learning as I live.

& all this applies to anything. I’m speaking on behalf of dealing with others for the most part.

I wonder does all that get overshadowed because of who I am and how I choose to be…

Connections.

Post 18

Now before I get started understand I’m willing to receive a lot of hate in order to defend what I’m fond of , respect me for it ! At least I’ll burn with integrity

“My drawings represent how we fear things that are foreigner to us. I drew the full body without skin because it’s kinda like we have to peel ourselves back to see what’s there.” FTOT: @Solosherrell

We learn a little something something from everybody.

Whether it’s good, bad, or ugly it creates a learning experience that connects you and that person together for the rest of your lifetime.

or at least I like to think so…

Maybe it’s just my optimism that makes me think in such a way but I can’t say it doesn’t help me when it comes to becoming resentful in certain instances.

  • The Ugly: is usually unasked for truths. Overall you should always respect that the truth that was brought to you and especially told to you because that means they trusted you in some way. Just think of it as the lemons before we make lemonade. We either learn how to adapt or just take into consideration and move forward even though it’s not initially. what we thought independently.
  • The Good: is copacetic behavior easy going living you find captivating and incorporate into your own lifestyle.
  • The Bad: my personal favorite, is anything unfavorable to you. I say it’s my favorite because it usually is the real teacher you get a new concept of a person. You get to experience how the butterfly effect works; because of this, a persons does this, causing you to do that. It lets who you know how to respect different kinds of individuals in a sense without the hate.
“This one is symbolizing a damaged person that is happy” FTOT: @Solosherrell

Because of how the brain works regarding memory, when you grasp all this stuff and go to use it you trigger where you learned it from. So therefore if you picked up something from another person you will always refer back to them or the experience whether you’re fond of it or not. A great example is how we pick up speech patterns from another person. Like I stated previously you learn something in every instance it’s just up to you to consider them lessons and take what you can from it.

P.S Don’t take stuff so personal UNLESS! You’re for certain something was done with cruel intentions , somethings’ are just bad habits we develop overtime, we all have one.. maybe some.

The cover is from the movie “Extremely loud and incredibly close”

Accept Accepting Acceptance

Hello! Good morning, afternoon, or evening.

As we prosper we learn to accept the fact that people can & will stress you out while adjusting to the thought that it’s nothing we can do about it. Some people will not see anything wrong with what they do until you choose not to deal with it and even still the problem will be with you and not themselves.

To start accepting the fact that some of the people you absolutely love can be horrendous to your lifestyle can be stressful especially when you have such an over abundance of appreciation for them. Just remember you can’t want to be in someone else’s life more than they want you in theirs themselves.

Acceptance is the finale when it comes to easy living. It’s a thing called good stress & bad stress! Bad stress is stress that doesn’t teach you a lesson to contribute to you not stressing again, while good stress helps you evolve correctly making you stronger in the process.

The cover is a photograph captured by John H. White in 1973 during the Bud Billiken Parade, Chicago.

Fashion makes the world go round

Post 8

Now before I get started understand I’m willing to receive a lot of hate in order to defend what I’m fond of , respect me for it ! At least I’ll burn with integrity.

You can dress any way you want to dress, there’s always Someone who’s going to like it along with the people who might feel it but wont give you your props then it’s the People who won’t respect your creative choices when cominbing pieces, those are the regular dressing people who rather see the world with no character because they have no character themselves, but don’t sweat it because eventually they’ll put on something and won’t feel to comfortable do to the fact they’ve teased others and that’s just life. I say this because I have experienced it myself (I happen not to be a complete Matcher as in I don’t dress following color coordination)  I have even said negative comments about someone’s attire & wondered why someone was able to walk out looking “ridiculous” then I realized it was self confidence they are self aware of who they are and want the world to see the self love via fabrics & colors. I feel as if fashion is one of the most disrespected self expressions in the world because everything was so structured previously so the fact so many years later it’s basically no preferred look is still not “normal” to others who aren’t use to change or open mindedness.

My biggest pet peeve is when someone who has no character feel as if they can talk down on someone else’s style preference, I believe even if you don’t like something it’s okay to have an opinion about it but DO NOT KNOCK IT. It might not seem like it but it’ll probably break the persons spirit 9 times out 10.

  • Don’t assume you know someone because of how they dress, clothes can be used to express anything from yourself to your feelings, I get approached many different ways because of how I dress, I try not to let it actually bother me, anymore, but it’s still a “what the fuck” type of vibe.
  • If you like it, please wear it, wear it with pride.
  • When you get dressed make sure you’re putting a smile on your face.
  • If you don’t feel like THE WHOLE WORLD NEEDS TO SEE YOU FIT, take it off.
  • Don’t be a yes man and have your friend out here looking unpresentable, it should be a little logic to it
  • You might just like to follow trends, but because of that do not think you’re better than anyone else because at the end of the you FOLLOW not lead by example, you seen someone else and was inspired.
  • Half of the world that disses fashion the most doesn’t know the difference between polyester, silk, and satin.
  • It’s a difference between Inspiration & blatantly copying unapologetically & that is rude.
  • Designer isn’t always important!!!

When people don’t acknowledge where they get an idea from, it’s okay to say “___ is an influence in my lifestyle” that’s all considered showing love, hating takes 5-15 years off a persons healthspan, do better!

Family matters…?

Post 4 

Now before I get started understand I’m willing to receive a lot of hate in order to defend what I’m fond of , respect me for it ! At least I’ll burn with integrity.

All my family is related to me through loyalty.

As you get older you get wiser, or at least you’re supposed too. As the years have progressed I’ve realized my life revolves around my biological family to the very minimum. I have replaced many blood cousins with friends & I say this proudly.

  1. Relatives take advantage of their role in your life & feel like they can treat you anyway  because in some realm your family is supposed to be forgiven after repetitive emotional fuck ups.
  • I feel as if I can’t necessarily “forgive” you because if you think of it my high school friend that I’ve been knowing for 2yrs+ ,maybe, would never put me in a situation to make me feel like our relationship isn’t placed on the pedestal it should be on top of the fact technically we’re strangers.

If you have love for me & like me as a person you should never put “us” in a place where it could jeopardize our bond together no matter who you are. After you show me your true colors you can’t blame me for not wanting to deal with you because, personally I don’t think emotional roller coasters are fun & if  you put me through that type of stress believe me when I tell you I don’t need you in my life.

I’ll respect your position in my life if you bring me nothing but truth & loyalty otherwise I don’t need or want you.

I try to forget but it’s hard to forgive

– Future / Thought it was a Drougt