I had to overshare like this as my last step to let go.

I’ve held me down in many ways, being I’ve kept all my secrets and I simply do not care to care anymore.
“You’re such an old soul.”, “You’ve been here before.”, “How are you so wise?” Is what the people say and I’m none of that. I just had to mature faster than I was suppose to, I’ve been through a lot, seen even more, and my wisdom comes from reminiscing pain by hoping to not make the same mistakes I witnessed first hand…. yet I find myself having to start over again and again. ‘Free’ – Deneiece Williams

“Have you ever lost your everything friend?”
“Do you miss your GRANDmother?”
“Have you ever been chilling and just get annoyed with everything that exist and you can feel your temperament rising?”
“Who raised you? Yourself?”

I’ve been living uncomfortably all my life until the last like 2 months. I don’t mean this in any way more than the lack of self efficiency when understanding the development of my frustrations. As it’s so hard to be mad at things you LOVE or are taught to LOVE more than yourself. The frustration of essentially having nobody for such a long time to get people who eventually still disappear. The frustration of knowing what you should be doing, doing, then crashing right back down because your momentum is destroyed due to depression. BUT you keep trying to end up just more tired and more “irritated” because you don’t want to try but you know you’re worth a lot more, to others, than just giving up even though nobody is helping you up either. ‘Mad’ – Solange ft. Lil Wayne

I’m 24 today and to say I’m surprised isn’t the correct word. I’m impressed quite plainly. I have noticed I have no eagerness to live probably from being burnt out from having to survive. I’m 24 but catching up with the childhood I didn’t have a chance to experience while also growing up and experiencing life from an adult perspective. It’s not that it’s difficult but it’s severely tiresome, it’s confusing. I’m playing catch up and undoing all bad things that were done to me that I took personally while reminding myself I’m deserving of good things in general. I’m also tired. I’m ready, to stop self sabotaging. 

I’ve experienced some things that I never realized truly bothered me as I’ve just brushed them off, so I thought, and that resulted in me being “mean”? “aggressive”? “quiet”, “unforgiving”, due to circumstances beyond my control sometimes; I lost my grandmother at 4! I remember that series of events vividly. My first bestie, my first memories, my first defense in favor of me just being!! GONE. Forever thankful for my infinite Angel, oh how I miss her. I’ve been sexually assaulted twice, my father has been in prison since I was a newborn[I just now stopped resenting him for that, yet it’s a lack of respect that will probably remain but I digress.] I don’t have too many childhood memories, worth repeating. (A trauma response or maybe lack of childhood completely.) I don’t have many childhood photos either actually.[which is why I love my photo albums so much.] I’d have a 5 year old right now if I didn’t miscarry and nobody knows that unless you’re someone that’s reading this right now. I grew up with a very hard working single mother, so from like 3rd grade til 12th off but mainly on. I was walking myself to school and home..just home alone for the most part for a very long time[which is probably why I hate co dependency or don’t understand it as I never got the chance to experience it.] OR I found myself wanting to be in the house with my family, but not wanting to explain that a part of me is enjoying the fact I’m not home alone! So it might’ve looked like I had an unhealthy attachment to being a homebody, let alone my mother [but realistically although I was around my mother I didn’t get the opportunity to truly spend time with the woman growing up! and I actually like her as a human being so to be able to catch up on time became important to me.] So now with that background knowledge imagine how annoying it is to hear “you’re boring.” Yet it’s nothing I was willing to do about that because people didn’t know the underlying details of my life to understand why I am how I am, as I also didn’t see the benefit of sharing like I am now. [lol inner child healing they call it.] I have LITTLE[less than 10] to no extend relatives like cousins as they simply aren’t good people among other things.[and I will never subject myself to endure in the name of a bloodline that has done nothing but contribute to said trials]. So the family dynamic I unintentionally built up through this website & internet is sincerely the most I have, and I am extraordinarily thankful for it.

(all this makes me cry when I speak about it or as I type it up I start to tear up.) 
I started working on this blog mid November or so. Around that time I realized what my problem was and it has taken me til the week of January 5th to not cry when I reread or work on it and that’s also why it’s written in present and past tense.

I’ve learned to understand every walk of life in order to respect what I’ve learned from it but I’ve never taken the time to be upset or feel in general because my time is taken up being a team player. I just carry my hurt. 

I carry my hurt and then wonder why I’m so angry and feel entitled to experiencing better. When really I’m angry because I know I deserve better than victimizing myself  wasting time trying to figure out what doesn’t make sense. Like being broken up with completely sporadically to leave me wondering for a year+ “What did I do?” to be told “You didn’t do nothing.” but still it’s been too long and the betrayal was too strong so now… you have a hard time getting use to people romantically as you think “something’s got to be wrong with me?” then you develop a habit of being pretty careless since you’re waiting for people to leave, like they always do. <That break up made me cry every day/night for a year, I was my most angry and easily irritated + It has to be a science to it because I was always 1 to have a nightmare occasionally. Then after that I started having intense nightmares every night to the point I’d wake up shaking. Which is another set back that’s adds onto the frustration because sleep is suppose to be a form of peace and I feel like, better yet I know, my abandonment issues follow me into my sleep? Pathetic, embarrassing to explain as well.>  Or the fact people usually only want me on their own terms/time and once I’m no longer beneficial or so selfless suddenly my character is soooooooo jaded. Yet with that common knowledge I’m still a serial team player[probably because I know how it feels to be inconvenienced by this life shit from a lack of having help/companionship and I don’t ever want to be an inconvenience as such]. So I disregard the fact people are more often then not manipulative. Therefore I am often manipulated in the sake of being over-standing so again, I get upset. Unfortunately my upset boils over into misdirected aggression resulting in me shutting everybody out. ‘Bag Lady’ – Erykah Badu

My days and coping mechanisms have gotten better specifically when I started putting me first.
I did something for someone a few days ago and it didn’t make me feel good, the way it made them feel good and I thought…”Yea, I need to consider the fact I just disregarded me to satisfy someone else.” Like why do I not feel the same importance to honor me as I sacrifice parts of myself to aid people who I feel are of that importance?

I use to be like “I’m so glad I’m not a victim of this cruel world.” Whole time… I too am a victim as such. It’s just the fact I was a victim of my circumstances due to the same world I thought I was outsmarting but really just adapting to emotional unavailability. Which cut my emotional intelligence short and that deprived me from being emotional in general [I didn’t cry for a very* long time]. But we’ve learned! as we’ve lived and we have taken accountability to not only try to undo BUT change because I myself recognize I deserve to do better presented by me, myself, and I. It’s all about knowing you deserve better and being aware you know better than what you decide to do, based on comfort, and you navigate from there. Bettering yourself is easier to think about rather than to do when you’ve become use to the repetitiveness. For me at least it was always easier to stay linear to comfort as I knew the outcome of dealing the same s***. I knew it was an issue but the fact working with the “issue(s)” instead of working on myself was just… easier. You gotta want [it] more than you want s*** to just work! ‘Self Love’ – Mavi


Finding friends has always been “hard” for me. In grade school I didn’t have many friends, I was just there which was fine as I didn’t really talk much in my younger days. Middle school I thought I had some friends but to be fully aware people might not actually like you but it’s nothing you can do about it because they’re all you got is… what it is. Now at my bigger age I have finally found my people. Oh how I adore them, to be embraced by, valued by, loved on, I love my friends. I think everyday I give thanks for “my people”, I finally found my people. I’ll probably never be able to explain why I value my friends the way I truly do(but I’m about to try). It’s nothing more than they allow me to see and enjoy the capability of true love from a world that has given me such a hard f****** time. My friends, it’s an interesting dynamic as they believe I’m so kind and so on. As I like to say in return “I’m a reflection of you.” but it’s the truth. [So sometimes I wonder if they’re aware they’re some of the sweetest beings as what they extend to me I send right back.] It took this year for me to really realize I needed people, foreal. Nothing makes me happyer than the fact I have people now. People I mean something to, not even from a validating standpoint they just look forward to me!!!! Even as I’ve went through my personal battles among myself they are still happy I’m here with no expectations of me other than to show up. I’m loved, and I’ve never felt that before [which is why my lust life created a very desperado version of me]. I’m aware I have been appreciated by many but I am also aware I was not loved as a whole being. If anything I was encouraged to change and now I’m around some people who love me because I am me, and I Try. Wholeheartedly. They teach me, they nurture me in ways they’re unaware of. Nothing will ever bring me as much joy or satisfaction as my loved ones, my friends. Which is why I get so damn upset when men try to infiltrate the importance of what friendship is to me to satisfy their sexual desires, it offends me deeply. My friendships are personal to me, to trust me enough to share your world with me?! I can get to know you? It makes you wanna stay on earth and look forward to being here as you look forward to the people around you. It’ll forever be my honor to do right by who have provided me with what I thought I didn’t need because I never experienced it without sufferance as a co-sign to prove my worthiness to know what it felt like to have love, kindness, patience, and appreciation extended to me with no stipulations. ‘Family’ – Blood Orange ft. Janet Mock

And of course I still find myself struggling in someways some days but I keep trying with the best of my efforts, truth behind my intent, and being prepared to take accountability of the part I’ve played in whatever to help me as my emotions emote. Like I said after a while you get tired and you really realize your eagerness to DO BETTER than what’s been done outweighs your weary. This is coming from someone who had the tendency to sabotage the good just to be comforted by the sad because that’s all I knew how to be and now I’m deciding it’ll probably be easier to be… me, in the best ways I can be. ‘RUNITUP’ – Tyler, The Creator



I had to start over 1000 times and this is probably my 11th life but I am here, willing to start again if need be. 

Full Circle Half Empty

my life has been full circle the last couple months, may i humbly say…i’d consider it “complete”[as time has progressed i have decided that my life in its entirety isn’t “complete” but more specifically a phase..the first one…in which i’ve been working on for years.]
also a part of me goes back in forth with the idea i might be thinking to “low” when i say that, but honestly it feels right to say. and when i change my mind to consider i might be wrong.. it’s really not from the perspective of me but more so what the world pushes you to feel about your everything.
it’s always more that can be done or obtained and for whatever reason being comfortable is never enough.
oh the irony in that! [when you’re hardbody and think about how sweet a soft day would be. or when you’ve adapted to being uncomfortable for such a long time, when s*** isn’t hard you don’t know how to function with leisure.]

*a conversation for another day would be how comfort is being given the same context as greed, but that’s neither here nor there right now.

i assume i’ll never be 100% with the dynamics that make up my everything as nobody is perfect but i consider myself a circle and at this time im full as in complete but empty.
maybe my circle isn’t complete because i always find myself getting halfway full then it starts to deplete then.. i wake up and it’s empty. and honestly i don’t feel anyway about it because i’ve taken the time out of living too understand myself more and it’s more to be understood(for example why can’t i maintain happyness? or whatever that fills up my circle. CERTAINTY!!! for example i manage to get to like 66% these days before it’s time to try it all over again.)

as i’ve lived, i feel like i make progress then i find myself reliving shit i thought i learned from. eventually i caught on to the fact i adapted to damaged control ~ although i knew the outcome of what i was doing, unfavorable or not, it gave me a sense of control when navigating it.
which is so silly.
and this full circle half empty reoccurrence is life reliving that ..but maybe emotionally?[i wish i could go back in time to just watch how many days i’d maintain peace. to know if on average growing up i managed to have…let’s say..11 good days before it was just striped from under me and now my brain just allows me 11 then self destructs as a natural reaction, get me?]
in addition to that im not sure about much of anything or how to even assess anything after that last sentence but i will say, im alright or my best self right now. yet it’s a form of emptiness that comes with that called “well what’s next?” what do i do now.

full circle half empty by me

and as i write im starting to realize that, that the “emptiness” i maintain is because im to busy dwelling on the fact i don’t have the answers as i always do and it’s no problem to solve to know anything.. so now im just doing on my own accord… and i know no freedom as such that’s equivalent to freedom of self where you figure stuff out beyond what you’re use to.

i have a slight theory that i have advanced passed “damage control” to understand that i have no eagerness to partake in self sabotage out of curiosity, boredom, or uncertainty as an escape goat for what might just be me experiencing a pure form of peace.
im chilling.
so within that theory im stuck at a place of not having the answers while being eager to experience to contribute to what has become FULFILLING TO ME.

truth be told im also slightly scared that maybe if i take this time to just enjoy how far i’ve come, maybe im missing out or could be using my time better.[but what’s better than self awareness/growth?]
i notice that i have to remind myself, a lot of things, but that uncertainty is just me seconding guessing myself.

{its a note to self on this page that says “i should really just take the time to enjoy a picnic to be proud of the fruit im bearing from my labors before my back starts hurting or start spilling fruit.”}

i hope everybody is taking time to get right with themselves as your just as important as the elements you make up
always, all ways

May the bridges i burn forever light the way.

I got a fucked up fetish of enjoying fucking with people.

My whole perception of love is romanticized karmic soul ties, it had nothing to do with self and I want better for myself. I’m bored, I’m tired, I’m selfish, and I don’t give a fuck.

I mentioned before it’s something gratifying about knowing someone don’t like you, or won’t admit it but won’t leave you alone. Very egotistical, I know, but to say it hasn’t effected me … it hasn’t. I can go back to my ways but I want to experience something new [which is probably just myself] the gratification has dissipated because I’m all money in…fatuated with myself. I’m fully aware the young men I have dealings with don’t give a fuck about me because that’s how I present myself. They probably think I don’t give a fuck about much of anything outside of music and shit I don’t know. Which wouldn’t be to far from the truth but that doesn’t mean I don’t pay attention and I’m not accountable, and that’s where things become a conflict of interest.

I’m hard to understand solely because people don’t want to be understanding is all.

The power I have, I don’t even know why I hold some kind of artificial importance in people lives [or maybe that’s how I perceive it]. It’s probably nothing of the sort except availability to be convenient. How “embarrassing”.

Let me tell you the first dealing with a young man I had I was fucking ghosted for reasons unknown. We’ve found our way back to each other per usual because I’m always available and over standing. But the way that influenced me; I’ve adjusted to lack of communication to where I’m just passive …and rarely aggressive and that is developed by considering bad habits from those I dedicate myself too. I’ve learned how to read between the lines of a book with no fucking words and that’s so pathetic. But that’s what I’ve grown to like.

Second instance was years later and an actual relationship. Wow, to be in love with the idea of what being in love feels like. I don’t regret it but as time has passed, and being essentially ghosted again by a completely different person, a more important person. I have figured out I was just a saving grace to aid in separation of a lack luster relationship, I was oblivious to, because I don’t ask questions, I don’t make comments, and my trust for people leads me to have no concerns. It’s a butterfly effect. So that stroked my ego even more so.. I helped teach someone how to love so they could love someone else correctly…outside of just extending myself once again to over stand why people are how they are. Kudos to fucking me.

I’m always making excuses for— including myself, I’m always trying to understand, I like dancing with the devil cause it keeps me on my toes, I like how it feels being warm from playing with fire, I liked being on someone’s mind but their last concern. As you get older you realize you’re just growing into looking for what you can’t put your finger on for self satisfaction. I must obviously feel not important at all to look at being convenient as a necessity instead of a amenity! It’s crazy. I’m learning though and it’s causing me to hide because I don’t give a fuck about nobody or anything except myself. Ironically I feel good. I feel self dependent. I feel like to be in my 20s and being selfishly selfless was just me being mildly manipulative. I feel like I am completely fucked and probably made to just learn as I live.

If I don’t know nothing else, I know I’m honest, aware, and nothing gets better unless you make it better. So I’ve been putting in effort to fixing myself. I’m over here irritated because I feel miserable and unsatisfied by my own self inflected agony. I’m fixing it though. I hope.

Wrote that under the full moon on the 31st and it’s my favorite thing to read at this time

May the bridges I burn forever light the way in my self discovery. Just thought I’d share my feelings since I’m willing.

Wishing everybody peace x joy x and prosperity always, all ways. – Aunty xoxo

I’m Doing Fine.

I’ve officially outgrown my desire for likes and all that superficial shit because what I put into the world is timeless, it’s enjoyed by those who need to experience it. And that itself I’m thankful for.

I find myself stumbling across opportunities to work with and become friends with people who once inspired me, and that’s because of me as a person and my persistence. I feel like that’s enough honestly because I’m proud they see what they’ve contributed to. Especially while I feel like you can say I’m a “nobody” if you solely base my online presence over my ability to preform, which I understand if you do.

All in all I’m being recognized, acknowledged, and appreciated behind closed doors for sure, in the very least, which is fine by me.

It’s a bigger everything to every action and I’m no longer eager to be what the world deems “successful” because I’ve successfully figured out how to allow my words, art, + everything else to co-exist in the world without expectation, which has humbled my disappointment and feeling of being “disregard”.

I’m chilling. I’m growing up. I’m learning. I still feel like I’m great but just don’t know what I’m doing, but I do know Ima be alright. I’m no longer splitting my attention and dedication with “seeking”— resulting in throwing off my ability to be focused on what I, can, do! I’m excited and underwhelmed. I’m proud of me.

Like I say “I don’t think I’m anything, I know I’m everything. And everything isn’t meant for everybody” that’s the truth. It’s okay. It was a tweet (if I can find it I’ll link it) but it said something along the lines of “you become disconnected when you look at your talents as a commodity that’s not paying off.” And now that I’ve gotten over that… I feel more certain about what I’m doing and can’t wait to do more instead of feeling like I’m failing, I’m doing fine.

I feel back to normal, when I started all this I did it to get my feelings off mainly. I wanted to be open about not know, being wrong, and whatever else that comes with life and somewhere along the journey of just talking on the internet I got greedy. The society I was battling I joined forces with unintentionally and let it slow me down. And I had the nerve to allow it to make me question what I know best about myself. Being that I can write!!

Talk to y’all later! Wishing everybody Peace x Joy x Prosperity always, all ways – Aunty


Why Can’t I Preform While Not Under Pressure

Like the title says…

Why can’t I function when I’m not under pressure? I’m being a bit dramatic, I can function but the fact it’s nothing and my craftsmanship is based on ultimately the evolution of something… always happening. When nothing is going on I feel stuck.

I feel bored. I feel like I should be doing something more. I feel like I’m missing something else. It’s nothing to make happen. I ought of enjoy when peace stands still but look at me, trying not to stress because I’m not use to what it feels to be tranquil.

Maybe I should dedicate times like this to learn how to relax since I still haven’t seemed to make that one of my strong suits but instead I will solidify my month being “book & busy” in which I’m looking forward to. As I write I realize I’m beginning something new the month of September as well and I should take this time to transition forward clear minded. It’s something about moving like a madman that makes things more enjoyable to me because all in all I still managed to get “it” done. I wonder why ppl are so attached to struggle, black people/minorities that is..

I figure because it makes you seem like your work is more validated since it wasn’t easy to come by or that your actually working towards bettering something in whole whilst we don’t even know how to truly appreciate what better is; at least… I don’t clearly.

I’m trying though— with real efforts. Maybe I should also take this time to learn how to capture happyness and serenity in my literature. I’ve grown bored of writing about being sad all the time, I’m not sad all the time no more. And as of late I’ve been quiet but that’s because I don’t know how to put my peace into a perspective in which can be felt because I’m to busy waiting for it to leave instead of even feeling it to begin with it seems as I continue with this blog post.

I did find some time to write a poem a few days ago which I like honestly, it’s different from that particular narrative I hope you enjoy it as well!

Wishing everyone much Peace x Joy x Prosperity. Always, All Ways xoxo!!!

⁃ Aunty


I’m thinking about life and I’m conflicted. I’m stuck between I’m thankful and also feeling like I’m not doing enough. I’ve probably wrote on this before but idk.

It’s different.

You’re probably like “bro something is always different to you”, “you can always ‘feel’ something” but that’s real spill.

I’ll probably write about not doing enough separately but to touch bases i don’t know how to execute. Or maybe I do but the uncertainty is the anchor at this time, all the time. Which also allows me to mention I’m ready to “risk it all” in order to experience a life I’m sure I should be living but can’t while being confided to the everyday livelihood agenda.


What if I stopped making time and just became. I’d propel in the direction I feel like I need to go in order to experience a whole different world created by myself. for myself and the comfort for others around me.

The fight I have with my mind (thinking I’m so grand)[in which I always will! nothing in me makes me want to think any less than as I say per usual, I’m created to be experienced] vs the lack of acknowledgement* I receive(as in a simple thank you)[because I know experiencing my existence is a blessing from whomever to whoever].

Nonetheless though I’m thankful. Forever thankful at that. I’m just realizing things and thinking. I’m the internetaunty— and that’s pretty much it. Currently slow and steady is the technique I’m using in order to run the race of life. And I’m building up endurance. stamina. But right now it’s like I’m learning the benefits to staying hydrated(consistent/structured).

S/n: I’m back at a place where I find security in being transparent. For the last couple of years I stopped writing about my feeling in article form but the poems have been rapid but in the same sense the poems where like a safe haven for me and my feelings. A set of words can mean anything to anybody, people who read them didn’t necessarily know what allowed me to create them. That was like a way not to be “embarrassed” (which I’m exchanging for shy/not forthcoming) when it comes to speaking my truth in regards of my “feelings”/emotions. I’m back though. I went back and read a few articles and I’m happy i was able to go back and read a few things from me that really broke certain things down and I know people probably feel the same way since great minds think alike. The point is, the transparent life reads are back.

Make sure you check out “I’m bored.” and “I’m confused.”

Real Love

I always stress to be yourself when it comes to building a foundation of support and love from people around you.

Be yourself for yourself.

The best thing you can do is be yourself, if you aren’t true to yourself you can’t expect people to be true to you. They don’t know you. They’re simply acting accordingly according to how you act and present yourself.

You shouldn’t have to jeopardize your self identity in order to justify someones presences in your life.

As people we overlook our habit of feeling so entitled to someones presence who is a present to us! We selfishly deprive ourselves of our own independent happyness to assure we experience some people who are simply not meant for us. We become addicted to the “ideally” and disregard the gift of thinking realistically.

“Do yourself a favor and reveal the real you so you can be loved and embraced correctly instead of accordingly”

All this, like everything else is very much so easier said than done. Which is understandable because once you realize that person or people don’t necessarily care for the “real” you… it’s a feel of disappointment.
Why does one feel disappointed by simply being themselves? They let who is “important” to them down in a sense, although that individual has nothing to do with you as an individual of your own.

That’s why I stress! To be yourself people are either going to respect it or neglect it and it’s nothing you can do about that, but value the people who rock with you in your purest form.

As a kid I kept getting thrown this particular lesson. None of the people I really wanted to be friends with cared for me because I was “weird” so I built up this persona to fit in and it kind of caused more grief than I’m sure I wouldn’t have had if I just accepted they didn’t care for me. What really made me realize this was when someone so important to me just disappeared out of my life after aligning myself to be everything they were eager for. That situation made me grow up and stopped caring and forced me to take accountability to the fact I wasn’t being myself.

I felt like if someone I’d give the world to didn’t see the importance in me while capturing everything they thought was important.. what else did I have to lose?

Some people won’t be able to grasp or respect the transition once you have such an epiphany, they’ll just feel like you’re changing when really you’re growing. Being you. The outcome of the transition can be so heartbreaking but also help you develop a strength of self so remarkable and pure it’s worth it.

I made up this saying a few years ago “I don’t think I’m anything, I know I’m everything.” and I like to reiterate it with “and everything isn’t for everybody!” which is just that.

Self Love, The Real Love.

No main bitch formed against me shall prosper

I owe myself loyalty.

Being in my 20s along with dealing with young men in their 20s, as in grown, their loyalty is not my responsibility or sole concern.

It’s not my job to make sure your love treats you respectfully especially if I don’t even know you or I’m not your friend.

The frustration is always taken out on the “side” bit- which should be least of anyone’s worries. The question isn’t “well how did she entice him?” Yet why he felt and decided to participate in stepping out of his relationship with all disregards of his partner.

I also feel like if you get stepped out on it’s right to be emotionally disturbed but to dwell on it even after being “forgiving” of the situation(s) is pointless when the answer to resolve it would simply be removing yourself from the relationship all together. Instead people want to feel as if they are an necessity when in all actuality we don’t jeopardize things we “NEED” deeming you a want but not necessarily a need which I can see as shocking.

Your disappointment, which gets projected as micro-aggression, shouldn’t be towards a person that probably didn’t even know you existed or! Doesn’t even look at you as someone of importance to the point they wouldn’t want to disappoint you. (that person being the side bitch)

In regards to the women who purse men in relationships, I have no words for them. You’re lovers loyalty still doesn’t have anything to do with them. Overall I’m referring to the women who don’t get the entire truth about a persons relationship status, or don’t find it to be their job to cosplay inspector gadget to assure their love interest isn’t in a relationship and cheating.

Ultimately if a person has a plan to cheat they’re going to follow correct procedures to do so anyways.

No matter how you spin  the situation it’s never the cheatee’s fault.

Ex: If I know a man is in a relationship, I purse him, he doesn’t stop me in my tracks and shut everything down then that’s on him. He’s the only one to take accountability that he didn’t stay true to his partner regardless of intent.