Short Sermon: Spiritual Envy

When you become one with a certain stature of self awareness and sincerity regarding who you are, what you do, along with how you treat people it’s hard to not take the actions of others personally.

No one asks of me to wear my heart, feelings, sensibility, or ability to be whatever on my sleeve but I do so because that’s how I flow. I’m not afraid of the hurt that might come with being so receptive. Such as being emotionally distressed, spiritually disconnected, just completely blindsided by the actions of others it’s all growing pains I appreciate when not used against me.

I understand I might sound too good to be true due to me being straightforward and with that I feel as if you should be proud I see something in you to allow you to ultimately share me with you, in any aspect.

When someone gets the opportunity to infiltrate the secure element you’ve created for yourself I feel like it’s done on purpose. That individual knew they didn’t have what it took, yet they decided to move forward and disrupt instead of self assist in the hopes of becoming better or even realizing that something wasn’t for them.

Selfish.

You can not be sensible and fully unaware of your actions. I know you can’t. I take all actions against me personal because retrospectively it’s a form of attack. You couldn’t conquer me therefore you rather destroy. In the hopes you don’t feel lonely at the bottom of self despair since sinking down is easier than growing up.

Protect yourself, your energy, element, and aura because you’re in control of that. People much rather focus on you and create a diabolical plan to tear you down since they see you as the structure they can’t find the strength to build themselves to become what they long to be.

Spiritual Envy is a different kind of evil.

Wishing everybody much Peace, Joy, and Prosperity! All ways, Always.

To whom, to those, to all! For what!

Being “misunderstood” plus unwilling to compromise I wonder do I still serve my purpose. I believe I was created to rebuild the mind of! I’ll sacrifice myself on behalf of producing a new mind, outlook on life, anything. I’m willing to give since I know the take will forever stand in the way of your thoughts.

I don’t recommend this to everyone, I’m okay because I can rebuild myself, when I what you can say “destroy” myself in a sense. In this process I also learn the reasons and motives of others making me be more understanding overall therefore the next person I come across can also gain a new level of mental/emotional, understanding.

I’m not sure why I feel the need to make this my responsibility, I take that back. I do this because it’s a lack of open-mess worldwide so if I can stress the aspects of difference being perfectly fine it’s the least I can do. It’s a way of helping develop the process of “understanding” become easier.

Trial and error taught me most of, as in 60% including my mother & sister being open with their trial and errors to go off of boosting it to probably 87%, not everyone is able to make mistakes.. openly. Let alone be okay with making a mistake and having the time to actually learn something from it. So the fact I can take advantage of that on behalf of those not able to you begin to think of it like you’re just doing a favor.

Now The mind is so complex even when people “think” they’ve disregarded what I’ve done keyword being WILLINGLY they go back on it trying to make it not make sense… essentially just making it make sense but not admitting it.. or at least admitting it openly. Which is fine. I don’t do it for notoriety but I figured out the discrepancy on why some people don’t favor me.

& With all the good comes the bad.

Unfortunately my biggest pet peeve when doing all this is some people are just unperceptive and it’s sad. I understood it’s the concept of being guarded. Being so closed off in order to “protect” yourself can eventually be equivalent to looking out a window with your eyes closed. You miss out on everything and just reiterate the idea of being scared of… whatever. All this is fine by the way I’m not here to tell you it’s wrong but to STRESS you can use me, whether it be in secret, bi-weekly, everyday. As a bit of “guidance” in many aspects of life as I continue learning as I live.

& all this applies to anything. I’m speaking on behalf of dealing with others for the most part.

I wonder does all that get overshadowed because of who I am and how I choose to be…

Risk

Post 16

Now before I get started understand I’m willing to receive a lot of hate in order to defend what I’m fond of , respect me for it ! At least I’ll burn with integrity. 

Something that truly irritates me is the fact you have to choose self respect verses you’re success these days, you can’t just live your life accordingly without risking your livelihood. We as people have independent morals, beliefs, and senses that we stand by but we must tone it down in order to make sure we don’t ruin ourselves because people don’t know how to allow more than one perception of an individual to flourish.

No, This doesn’t include the derogatory mess some of you refer to as ‘opinions’ regarding race, sexuality, & sexism among other things that don’t even effect you personally but consider to speak out the ass about so, don’t quote me in reference to such confusion considered a ‘moral’, ‘belief’, or ‘sense’.

I’ve always had that “you’re weird.” ‘Problem’ to be frank I still do and it’s so hard to disregard honestly. Only because it’s portrayed that being this extraordinary individual isn’t comforting to others so it isn’t likable since it lacks the norm, From my perspective I don’t get why your incomparable flow couldn’t awaken the minds of others that in fact you can be.. Different!  Just like being told “you’re pretty” or any compliment you hold onto it, the same rules apply to the negativity especially when you’re building yourself up to help you evolve and although being “weird” isn’t something necessarily negative it’s also not something to be fond about. It makes you second guess yourself and it makes you live within a box that doesn’t let satisfy your urge to free yourself.

What I wonder is why people pressure others to continue to not be ‘unhappy’ by not respecting them express themselves while they know how it feels to stay secret.

I don’t think people realize It’s a lack of respect for Originality these days. It’s okay to put out whatever as long as the people like you.  “Be something others can relate to.” As if that’s impossible to do just because something is abnormal a mass amount of people aren’t accepting of what’s ‘irregular’. To me if you, being you is relatable to one let alone a few then it will encourage many to take pride in any and everything regarding them.

Looking back, personally, I’ve sold myself short many times when it comes to self expression for the sake of people to like me. People who didn’t even pay attention to the fact I was like them after I purposely dedicated time to their acceptance.  As a kid, teenager, young creative you are not aware that a person should like you because you are you and not who you should be. That’s as far as it should go though, once we reach a fine moment in adulthood we must start embracing and living for ourselves.

“Confinement“, a word developed from the root word “confine” which is a noun that means “the borders or boundaries of a place, especially regard to their restricting freedom of movement”

The featured photo is from the Bad Boy Record label Photo shoot showcasing the release of Craig Mack & Notorious B.I.G new music incorporating the infamous McDonald’s Big Mac.

Crazy Like That Glue – Craig Mack Documentary

Surprise Song, Enjoy it

Time is a terrible thing to waste.

post 15

Now before I get started understand I’m willing to receive a lot of hate in order to defend what I’m fond of, respect me for it! At least I’ll burn with integrity.

We have this weird obsession with blaming time on why we’re miserable even if its temporary.  “Time” what is time? Have you seen “In Time” starring Justin Timberlake? Great movie if you haven’t.

• TIME is a noun meaning 1. The indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future regarded as a whole.2.A point of time as measured in hours and minutes past midnight or noon.

People trap themselves in all aspects of life when they think time has a lot to do with things that have no actual deadline.

Everyone likes to blame the reason they are in a you could say non beneficial relationship on “time”. An Excuse to remain in distress is ” I’ve invested to much time.” even though I understand I don’t think people understand as much time as they’ve invested they have wasted. The point emphasized is that they don’t have time to waste yet remain in a stagnant relationship with no growth, which sounds like a waste of time to me.

Career wise we believe we’re running out of time only because we see it never stops so we must have it all together in a timely fashion instead of focusing on getting it done in general.

We don’t enjoy life to the fullest due to “time” we feel as if we must grow up at a certain speed instead of enjoying time as it progresses, we rush it. Isn’t it ironic we rush to grow up just to grow into feeling like were running out of time even when moving forward in a timely matter.

The only time we admire the beauty within time is when we’re getting off of work, waiting for that class to be over and living legends. People who stand for something wish to live on forever meaning the have outlived time because their words, paintings, music, or fashions continue to stay relevant after we’ve turned to dust.

Sam Is Dead w/ Visual – Odd Future

This cover was from the movie ” House Party 2″

Better Days

You know I was told “when it’s going good it might not be that great so therefore when it’s going bad it’s not as horrible as it may seem.” I try to hold onto that mind frame to reassure me better days will come even though it may not seem like it. Just because things were fine and we got use to it doesn’t mean they could not have been better, any struggle is just what it takes to become better.

Optimism is a fundamental but realistically it can be passed as denial if you don’t keep a fine line between what could happen oppose to what is happening. It’s a nice gesture to remain positive though it gives you something else to focus on besides all the negatives around you.

We all go through our own trials and tribulations which is “fine” it’s life there would be no sunshine without rain, you just can’t let your sorrow become who you are because it’ll sike you out and you’ll become use to the unhappiness as if that’s just life and we all deserve a pleasant life.

Wishing you all peace, joy, and prosperity always xoxo.

The cover is from the famous painting “The Sugar Shack” by Ernie Barnes for more information you can read: The History of the Sugar Shack 

Here I have an album for you all to enjoy Sonder Son by Brent Faiyaz 

Selfish or Selfless

• Aloof – (a•loof) Adjective, Not Friendly or Forthcoming; cool and distant.

“They were courteous but faintly aloof.”
An informal way to call someone aloof is “Standoffish”

I wonder are you born in such a solemn state of living or is it something you develop over time. From a personal stand point I definitely feel like I developed an unemotional lifestyle regarding things an average person would’ve consider sentimental from trials and tribulations such as Friendly Rejection or not having a close knit family, after repeated unacceptance from peers you start to keep to yourself & self reflect, resulting in bettering yourself. When your family isn’t typically “close” certain things just don’t bother you for instance … When Holidays come around I’m in a cool but distant state of mind since it’s only my mother, sister and an occasional cousin here and there, I love them everyday so my love doesn’t increase during the end of year, there is no reason. A con to this is you feel like everyone should relate to your lifestyle of not being emotionally attached all the time, and that’s the selfish perspective. For example I’m good for feeling like “If it doesn’t bother me it damn sure shouldn’t have bothered you” therefore I won’t necessarily care about the other persons feelings regarding the situation because it’s not a big deal theoretically. I also feel as if that characteristic makes me a more solid individual because my actions aren’t based on emotion but solely my personal preference when it comes to decision making.

• Magnanimous – (Mag•nan•I•mous) Adjective, Vey Generous or forgiving, especially toward a rival or someone less powerful than ones self.

“Her magnanimous contributions to the art world.”

Selfless, hopeless but not regarding yourself, selfless because you cater to others. Someone’s presences can bring you so much happiness you never want to miss spending anytime with them. The love for someone/something takes all of you literally, you become more concerned on something that’s not you … you don’t know who you are anymore, but that’s fine! Selflessness can be beautiful because you aren’t looking for anything back it’s unconditional willingness but it’s also like “Are you even happy?” Internally. Which can be addressed later because it’s not about you, it’s about them. You can even want the best for someone more than they want it for themselves because you see the potential in them outside looking in not realizing all it is … is … potential. You’re living off hopes and dreams but you know dreams come so it’s all good.

How do you balance out two personas like that regarding a love life? How do you balance out the two personas when it comes to general living? Which one is worst?

Problems & Selfless – PND

Shihan- This type of love (Def Jam Poetry)

Value an opinion

Post 9

Now before I get started understand I’m willing to receive a lot of hate in order to defend what I’m fond of , respect me for it ! At least I’ll burn with integrity.

Opinion – o•pin•ion (noun) a view or judgement formed about something, not necessarily based on fact or knowledge.
“I’m writing to voice my opinion on an issue of great importance.”

Let’s start off be clarifying that opinions are for conversations and facts are more essential in a debate. 

How are you supposed to broaden your horizons if you aren’t open minded? When I speak on open mindedness I’m not saying you have to accept everything you come across but it wouldn’t hurt to just try to understand willingly. I think that’s an important part of conversing with another individual, if you don’t understand that’s okay too many people are okay with giving clarification. I stress people should learn to agree to disagree! After a while an opinionated conversation can just go in circles followed by aggressive emotions because you feel like the other person doesn’t hear you when in actuality you guys aren’t listening to each other just searching for validation within the conversation while hearing voices.

What’s morally correct to me, due to how I was raised, may not be morally correct to another person. So who is more incorrect me or them? It’s so much you can learn from people if you were to just listen from all standpoints, if someone hurts you and you ask them to explain their actions (this is why the truth is so important) you hear THEIR logic behind what they did and why they did it. You as a person listening should take that perspective and apply it to life to assure you don’t commit the same “mistake”. It’s kind of like history in a sense, if you don’t acknowledge or go over it without a doubt it’ll repeat itself.

When I hear someone’s opinion even if I don’t necessarily agree with it, it’s still intriguing enough for me to further the conversation just because curiosity killed the cat. “If you knew better you would do better.” As valid as that statement is don’t use it if you think your way of thinking is the only logical way to come to a conclusion. Chances are you don’t know to much to be able to do any better than what you produce due to the fact your stuck in a, what we consider, oppressive state of mind.

What I’m trying to stress is, life is all about learning and as you grow older you’re supposed to become wiser. Theoretically you read books, keep going to school, or just learn from trial and error to keep knowledge flowing but what we forget about is how essential talking to people can be. Better yet! Think of it like this if you do something wouldn’t you want a person to hear you out right? Understand where you’re coming from without the harsh judgment or trying to correct your thinking process? Treat others the way you would like to be treated!

Make it last forever

Post 7

Now before I get started understand I’m willing to receive a lot of hate in order to defend what I’m fond of , respect me for it ! At least I’ll burn with integrity.

“Females put themselves through misery when they’re in a relationship with a careless man/boy, why? Because that makes them feel important” Some women/girls stay for the simple fact they have nothing else to do, so feeling like they boyfriend/husband will eventually “act right” is an “accomplishment” not even realizing they really FORCED their presence upon the man first of all & second of all he didn’t necessarily change for the greater good just changed how to hide evidence etc if that’s what you want to call it.

I’m not “concerned” but more curious on why some females are so dense when it comes to relationships, my conclusion is … *drum roll*

1. They don’t want to seem weak because they gave up on the person they are so deeply in love with.
2. It might definitely be a benefit the girl is receiving, maybe it’s the fact he might have money, might be the cutest thing ever, or even compliment each other well to others so she’s living off of the opinions of society.
3. They don’t want to “start over” with someone new.
4. A large amount of the world feels like if you don’t have a man your doing Something wrong, even considered a slight sign of weakness.
5. It’s a possibility the female might have low self esteem & in her case the good might outway the bad ,barely, nothing an apology can’t fix in their head & an apologies are deeply appreciated because it’s a sign of sincerity.
6. The fact they can play the role of Joey Franko from Cheaters and find out if their partner is cheating can be amusing to them because they wouldn’t be considered “stupid” since they figured it out so they see nothing wrong with the situation because at the end of they day they’re finding out the truth… eventually.
7. Maybe it’s about attention, after being publicly embarrassed for instance you develop an audience and people come to your rescue because they’re fascinated in the situation outside looking in & that’s okay because it reassures the female that SOMEONE still cares even if it’s not the person they desire to be with.

At the end of the day we’re going to blame it all on being in love Anyways so to each his own because we all love differently. You never know maybe you’ll be so deeply in love your blind to reality too.

To close this out I give you guys two songs regarding the nature of this post.

From Time – Drake ft Jhene Aiko

Problems & Selfless – PND