People – LEARN AS YOU LIVE

“Not subject to any conditions”

As I get older I realize I’m to genuine to be involved with people frivolously. I can’t half ass my sincerity so I rather not deal with anything as such regardless of the potential of what could be.

I hate conditional everything that has to do with a bond I share with anyone!

I just can’t accept it willingly. It makes me uncomfortable in a sense and as I get older I find myself finding comfort in people. Possibly due to my lack of family, so any time I invite someone in I try to assure them comfort. I enter every bond with the idea it’ll be long term, long term comes with the ability to understand, feel, and whatever else makes any kind of relationship strong to you but what is that if it’s under certain terms and conditions. Conditional is a lack of respect, trust, and belief.

I notice people love the sense of security I give them but don’t offer it back. Maybe they don’t know how to be unconditional.. maybe all their life they’ve only experienced a bond under conditions that didn’t offer them everlasting comfort and stability.

A part of me always wants to prove my unconditional everything by offering the ability to understand they might need to adjust to the lifestyle. While my wisdom recognizes that some people don’t even care to try.. probably due to a lack of belief and I’d hate to prove them right by removing myself from them completely. When you’re this unconditional we speak of you always end up offering your presence under any circumstances it’s just up to the recipient to accept and or acknowledge it.

I find myself wishing the world was more sincere, wishing people knew the importance of everything they do with emphasis on how they receive people, wishing we took a little more accountability for our actions without having to be reminded.

Unapologeticness or Unapologeticmess

post 19

Now before I get started understand I’m willing to receive a lot of hate in order to defend what I’m fond of , respect me for it ! At least I’ll burn with integrity.

Am i sorry for how i feel? Probably not, it’s how i feel. I know that sound very selfish but I’ve learned how to accept it because other people speak how they feel and do what they desire to do while “I” as an individual take it upon myself NOT to get extremely upset with a person and their feelings, thoughts of life but just remove myself instead if necessary. We’re free people/individuals/different/one of one or at least I am.

essentially i believe if i can others can to so no matter what i do … say.. or portray myself shouldn’t have anything to do with you if you don’t incorporate yourself in it.

Conflicted because I don’t know if I’m defending the ones we consider dickheads but at the same time I feel as if “it is what it is” a wise one once said “If it wasn’t for Villains it would be no Heroes”

Growing up I either heard or read “stand up for what you believe in even if you’re standing alone” I decided to incorporate that into my moral compass, mind you goes it both ways for anyone opposing you but I also feel as if you can waste your time if the person isn’t willing to be wrong or whatever the case may be. I write and I usually write from a perspective that’s not really respected because we relate to ourselves and it makes me realize life is a big contradiction among itself. We make decisions based off circumstances which is probably why my character is always on my mind so I can always be assure I’m sticking to “one side” of things to not seem flip floppy when indeed, it is what it is.. That’s where the “MESS” comes in.

Getting older I’m noticing the same reason people love me, respecting the theory of principle; standing by my feelings or thoughts; protecting what means to me. Happens to be the same reason they hate me especially if it doesn’t apply to their lifestyle per say. People disregard the power of the mind when they are set in stone, all this applies to those who read this and go against me or use their unapologeticness for what they deem “good” when really it’s only good for them and those who relate (sounds familiar?).

I also understand that some people present very very “incorrect” opinions about life but at the same time I’m content being aware they feel as such to know to stay away from them.

If people didn’t voice their feelings as such we’d be blind to how people sincerely feel! Regardless of how it effects me emotionally I just have to understand how they think or what made them feel as such.

I’m one to also have conversations with those who oppose me to understand their p.o.v BUT! without the intentions of starting an argument.

Overall am I d*ckhead or? I mean I don’t publicly voice to a person or try not at least, voice that a persons opinions is causing them to be less of a person. I’m getting tired of apologizing about how I feel even though I watch people present their opinions as facts while I’m just stating my perception as an opinion. After all if we’re being as technical as we’re becoming your opinion might be a fact to YOU, according to you! Therefore my opinion is also a fact…because it’s true to me.

I’ll be sure to update you when I find a correct balance that’s morally correct, even though sometimes doing the right thing isn’t “Morally” correct let alone “Politically” correct.

P.S No this is not directed to give Nazis, Rapist, Homophones, or any other of that BULLSHIT! A self righteous pass, Matter of fact I don’t even know why you’re here.

XOXO – Wishing Peace! Joy! & Prosperity!

Embracing Yourself, Learning Yourself

I really do not have “advice” at this time just perspective

I’m doing what I do to the best I can.

I love myself, I’m not completely sure why yet, like I’m aware of my wonderful character.

Am I sure truly sure of myself?

Am I sincerely embracing myself If I’m still worried about how others, will, perceive me?

I wouldn’t say I second guess myself for validation from others but for their comfort. Whenever

I consider “what if they don’t like me?” often enough to reconsider how I express myself, how I go about my appearance, or even just reconsidering my choices for the comfort of others. I’ve noticed that no one ever notices or says thank you. “Thank you for restructuring yourself to make sure i’m comfortable even though you might not be.” Conflicted often because I don’t necessarily care about how a person perceives me, especially if they don’t ask clarifying questions straight from the source(me), but also realizing maybe I care to much about myself caring about if I care about how a person perceives me at all. Maybe the problem is people don’t see me how I see myself and that’s deeper than any appearance discrepancy. They don’t see what I have to offer to the world as an individual & the fact how I choose to present myself for myself can detour what others think of me might actually be what bothers me. Single handed appearance and character are intertwined invalidly because you look like “this” you must feel as “that” and that’s usually never the case. It bothers me that a person might not give me a chance regarding anything because I might not meet their idea of attractiveness or express myself through my appearance correctly to them. It’s hard finding balance for something you don’t even feel the need to balance. It’s even harder having to always prove yourself that you are what you know you are but people just refuse to see it.

My overall conclusion is I just have to steady remind myself that not everybody is going to like all aspects of me and that’s fine. Those who don’t but still desire to see the good in me I’ll always appreciate. Those who love me unconditionally forever I love back but regardless of any feelings towards me I must stay true to me.

Now I’m living.

Risk

Post 16

Now before I get started understand I’m willing to receive a lot of hate in order to defend what I’m fond of , respect me for it ! At least I’ll burn with integrity.

Something that truly irritates me is the fact you have to choose self respect verses you’re success these days, you can’t just live your life accordingly without risking your livelihood. We as people have independent morals, beliefs, and senses that we stand by but we must tone it down in order to make sure we don’t ruin ourselves because people don’t know how to allow more than one perception of an individual to flourish.

No, This doesn’t include the derogatory mess some of you refer to as ‘opinions’ regarding race, sexuality, & sexism among other things that don’t even effect you personally but consider to speak out the ass about so, don’t quote me in reference to such confusion considered a ‘moral’, ‘belief’, or ‘sense’.

I’ve always had that “you’re weird.” ‘Problem’ to be frank I still do and it’s so hard to disregard honestly. Only because it’s portrayed that being this extraordinary individual isn’t comforting to others so it isn’t likable since it lacks the norm, From my perspective I don’t get why your incomparable flow couldn’t awaken the minds of others that in fact you can be.. Different! Just like being told “you’re pretty” or any compliment you hold onto it, the same rules apply to the negativity especially when you’re building yourself up to help you evolve and although being “weird” isn’t something necessarily negative it’s also not something to be fond about. It makes you second guess yourself and it makes you live within a box that doesn’t let satisfy your urge to free yourself.

What I wonder is why people pressure others to continue to not be ‘unhappy’ by not respecting them express themselves while they know how it feels to stay secret.

I don’t think people realize It’s a lack of respect for Originality these days. It’s okay to put out whatever as long as the people like you. “Be something others can relate to.” As if that’s impossible to do just because something is abnormal a mass amount of people aren’t accepting of what’s ‘irregular’. To me if you, being you is relatable to one let alone a few then it will encourage many to take pride in any and everything regarding them.

Looking back, personally, I’ve sold myself short many times when it comes to self expression for the sake of people to like me. People who didn’t even pay attention to the fact I was like them after I purposely dedicated time to their acceptance. As a kid, teenager, young creative you are not aware that a person should like you because you are you and not who you should be. That’s as far as it should go though, once we reach a fine moment in adulthood we must start embracing and living for ourselves.

“Confinement“, a word developed from the root word “confine” which is a noun that means “the borders or boundaries of a place, especially regard to their restricting freedom of movement”

The featured photo is from the Bad Boy Record label Photo shoot showcasing the release of Craig Mack & Notorious B.I.G new music incorporating the infamous McDonald’s Big Mac.

Crazy Like That Glue – Craig Mack Documentary

Surprise Song, Enjoy it

“People think I’ve changed on them”

Why can’t people accept the fact you can outgrow them? It’s never personal, you should actually be proud of me! Encourage me to go even further. It’s no love loss just more knowledge to be gained, you should adapt to getting away from people who don’t want to see you grow up instead of being in a stagnant place in life. Those type of people probably just want you around for entertainment purposes and that extremely toxic.

It’s unfortunate that people think because you can days without talking to them they’ve done something wrong, which makes me wonder.. “what did you do?”, and they feel like they need an explanation on why you stopped communicating with them, momentarily for the most part. Understand we just don’t relate anymore it’s okay no hard feelings I wish you the best, you won’t be forgotten.

It’s sad that people live with the thoughts you must stay extremely close to people in order to avoid conflict of you being labeled as “fraud”. Maybe the person that’s being “left behind” should incorporate some type of positive change in their life so they aren’t focused on what others are doing in a somewhat negative way. I can’t believe people give grief over someone prospering. I get it a lot of friendships end over people “changing” in good or bad ways but the good is always mistaken for “snob-like” behavior so it turns into envy and people feel like they can disrespect you quite often because “who do you think you are?”

To wrap it all up I just encourage people to understand sometimes you won’t relate with certain people as you continue to grow. Don’t make the person feel bad for prospering in fact just be apart of their support system, nine times out of ten they forever love you for that.

Make it last forever

Post 7

Now before I get started understand I’m willing to receive a lot of hate in order to defend what I’m fond of , respect me for it ! At least I’ll burn with integrity.

“Females put themselves through misery when they’re in a relationship with a careless man/boy, why? Because that makes them feel important” Some women/girls stay for the simple fact they have nothing else to do, so feeling like they boyfriend/husband will eventually “act right” is an “accomplishment” not even realizing they really FORCED their presence upon the man first of all & second of all he didn’t necessarily change for the greater good just changed how to hide evidence etc if that’s what you want to call it.

I’m not “concerned” but more curious on why some females are so dense when it comes to relationships, my conclusion is … *drum roll*

They don’t want to seem weak because they gave up on the person they are so deeply in love with.
It might definitely be a benefit the girl is receiving, maybe it’s the fact he might have money, might be the cutest thing ever, or even compliment each other well to others so she’s living off of the opinions of society.
They don’t want to “start over” with someone new.
A large amount of the world feels like if you don’t have a man your doing Something wrong, even considered a slight sign of weakness.
It’s a possibility the female might have low self esteem & in her case the good might outway the bad ,barely, nothing an apology can’t fix in their head & an apologies are deeply appreciated because it’s a sign of sincerity.
The fact they can play the role of Joey Franko from Cheaters and find out if their partner is cheating can be amusing to them because they wouldn’t be considered “stupid” since they figured it out so they see nothing wrong with the situation because at the end of they day they’re finding out the truth… eventually.
Maybe it’s about attention, after being publicly embarrassed for instance you develop an audience and people come to your rescue because they’re fascinated in the situation outside looking in & that’s okay because it reassures the female that SOMEONE still cares even if it’s not the person they desire to be with.

At the end of the day we’re going to blame it all on being in love Anyways so to each his own because we all love differently. You never know maybe you’ll be so deeply in love your blind to reality too.

To close this out I give you guys two songs regarding the nature of this post.

From Time – Drake ft Jhene Aiko

Problems & Selfless – PND

Camp Flog Gnaw Carnival 2016

Some of the best 3 hundred dollars I’ve spent In a long time. The environment is so beautiful & the vibes you come across are instilled in your heart because the strangers you see along with meet are so carefree that it makes you proud to say you’ve taken place in such a chill event, especially since the brains behind it happen to be a misunderstood soul who genius ways get overlooked, When I tell some ppl That I’m going to Camp Flog Gnaw they feel as if it’s full of Ignorance & ruthless kids with no manners, and that makes you wish they were here to see all the kind & sincere love.

I enjoy this event because to know your in the same environment as the people you happen to adore just makes you feel good then you also think about how not weird you are because here is thousands of people enjoying the same things as you so it’s “regular”.

This event brings so many ppl together it’s truly beautiful every time I come here I create many new friendships & I love it because those are memories that live on forever with me.

Here are some Fellow Floggers xoxo