Short Sermon: An Eye for An Eye

People who fuck over the ones who love them often have a hard time accepting love in the long run due to the fact THEY’VE watered down what it means to love someone.

Love holds no significance to them anymore.

Essentially they are simply just avoiding their own karma afraid that what they once done to someone else can now be done to them. They can’t trust anyone because they took the trust people had for them and used it maliciously.

Aside from stunting the growth and finally enjoying the feelings of falling in love or being in love. After given enough thought, if you’ve ever loved someone so much and had it actually sincerely reciprocated, whether it be a friend or lover.. you realize these kind of people probably will never experience that genuineness. To live a life where the people YOU choose to have around you, you can’t trust therefore causing you to settle in suppressed emotions such as anxiousness, worry, and lack there of is a life I can’t imagine. Especially regarding with my friends.

The question is, how do you prove to someone as such that you love them without overstepping what it is to love into manipulation due to the fact that they’re the ones scared of being love?

Wishing everybody much Peace, Joy, and Prosperity! All ways, Always.

Just finished my 20th lap around the sun

I “risk” a lot being myself or staying true to who I am. By not compromising to become what other people want from me and only abiding by what I know to be authenticity, I’m not “universal”. Universal in this universe is to cater to one idea of personal discretion, people tend to start being selfish with you, who you are.

That’s not how I’m willing to live.

Overall the idea of all of that doesn’t necessarily bother me per say. I’m just always being reminded about how much better I’d be, If I were to present myself for the sake of admiration from other people. Which kind of comes across as who I am doesn’t hold much “significance” in retrospect of course. More often than not we are to be molded by someone who doesn’t even live up to their own expectations that they are forcing on you. (Family & society has a bad habit of doing this)

In addition to the social media craze being a guide to insanity, insecurity, and insincerity. It often makes you feel like you’re doing something wrong when you’re simply being yourself in some cases. It’s okay to feel like a failure, usually within the despair that comes with it is hunger to approach whatever better next time. Instead, as of late we’ve been questioning ourselves not for the greater good of ourselves to contribute to bettering us but how to make people like us. So “failure” hits harder since it’s not to be an option. As if it’s a incorrect way to be ourselves to begin with..

Everybody is different! That’s what creates versatility, if we were all on the same page we’d learn nothing new. If we all looked the same the beauty in art would seemingly decrease do to unappreciative outlook. If we all had the same personality we wouldn’t know how to function outside of what we’re use to. I read once “If it wasn’t for villains it would be no heroes.”

What is the point? Are we people pleasing, which is fine I just rather people not pass it for what it’s not and that’s a “I don’t give a fuck attitude” because you do. Are we setting a staple of boarder thinking? Are we longing to be liked, if not loved? Are we looking forward to monetary triumph? What’s the purpose of what we do? Who do we do it for? What do we mean to ourselves?

I read that after we’ve accomplished a goal we don’t realize that the importance was minute because we don’t know what to do next after wading in the success. If you put it into perspective after you’ve accomplished, obtained, or whatever you kind of forget about it. It’s no longer important, you’re bored, on to the next, you did it. Then what.

Point is there’s no blueprint to follow when staying truth to being original. I suppose being lost is part of it all since in the travels to the next destination we elevate.

B.I.A.S.E.D

Post 20

Now before I get started understand I’m willing to receive a lot of hate in order to defend what I’m fond of , respect me for it ! At least I’ll burn with integrity

Why do we deem certain types of “Crazy” more acceptable than others? When I say this I’m referring to the “Crazy” of a Man vs the “Crazy” of a Woman, for the most part, in this particular post.

Crazy is Crazy.

“Crazy” can be interpreted many different ways mainly regarding what’s unethical to another! but we forget it holds emotional value we also disregard.

Crazy can triple as an Adjective, Adverb, or Noun

  • Adjective Definition: 1. Mentally Deranged, especially as manifested in a wild or aggressive way. |Extremely annoyed or angry | foolish

2. Extremely Enthusiastic

  • Adverb Definition: 1. Extremely.
  • Noun Definition: 1. A mentally deranged person.

If you take the time to decipher crazy you notice we use it loosely to begin with. So what’s really “crazy” isn’t necessarily “crazy” it’s just blatant stupidity if not contradictory, to another, or goes against someone else’s moral standing as I said in the beginning.

As I get older I realize it’s different categories to “crazy” here’s a few:

  1. Relationship crazy: which deals with the emotional aspect of it all not saying one emotion is superior to the other but when women act out it’s justified as passion, when a man acts out in the same way it’s looked at as outlandish behavior. We disregard that legitimately it was still indeed emotional outrage on either sides of the field causing one to do what, react how, they did.
  2. The mentally ill who shouldn’t really be called crazy since it’s insensitive & most likely they don’t have the proper help, if were being specific.
  3. Serial killer crazy which are just both of the above.

Overall to keep it simplistic and just give you an idea of what I’m getting at:

I love how some women are aggressively rude/toxic towards men, intentionally, w/ the idea that, that can be used to determine their masculinity because they should be able to “handle” it, and if they don’t want to deal with unfavorable behaviors as such they are … less of a man. Then again I assume it’s because it’s some strange rhetoric out there that a “Strong” woman is a woman that deals with the same toxic/rude misbehavior from men out of the sake of “he’s a man”.

I’ve noticed that the world is becoming more specific and that’s fine but we can’t be specific without being precise, knit picking, observing, and being unbiased to figure out the butterfly effect of everything. So I guess this post is more based on our(WoMen) lack to respect emotion equally. I assume it’s because we don’t respect a mans vulnerability while also brushing off a women’s.

If you ended up annoyed that I kept comparing men & women because in your world they aren’t the same I proved my point of double standards because I said in the beginning “crazy is crazy” which was the point. The correct standing of “crazy” can’t be justified depending on the particular gender.

the cover is a still from “Its a thin line between love and hate, 1996

To whom, to those, to all! For what!

Being “misunderstood” plus unwilling to compromise I wonder do I still serve my purpose. I believe I was created to rebuild the mind of! I’ll sacrifice myself on behalf of producing a new mind, outlook on life, anything. I’m willing to give since I know the take will forever stand in the way of your thoughts.

I don’t recommend this to everyone, I’m okay because I can rebuild myself, when I what you can say “destroy” myself in a sense. In this process I also learn the reasons and motives of others making me be more understanding overall therefore the next person I come across can also gain a new level of mental/emotional, understanding.

I’m not sure why I feel the need to make this my responsibility, I take that back. I do this because it’s a lack of open-mess worldwide so if I can stress the aspects of difference being perfectly fine it’s the least I can do. It’s a way of helping develop the process of “understanding” become easier.

Trial and error taught me most of, as in 60% including my mother & sister being open with their trial and errors to go off of boosting it to probably 87%, not everyone is able to make mistakes.. openly. Let alone be okay with making a mistake and having the time to actually learn something from it. So the fact I can take advantage of that on behalf of those not able to you begin to think of it like you’re just doing a favor.

Now The mind is so complex even when people “think” they’ve disregarded what I’ve done keyword being WILLINGLY they go back on it trying to make it not make sense… essentially just making it make sense but not admitting it.. or at least admitting it openly. Which is fine. I don’t do it for notoriety but I figured out the discrepancy on why some people don’t favor me.

& With all the good comes the bad.

Unfortunately my biggest pet peeve when doing all this is some people are just unperceptive and it’s sad. I understood it’s the concept of being guarded. Being so closed off in order to “protect” yourself can eventually be equivalent to looking out a window with your eyes closed. You miss out on everything and just reiterate the idea of being scared of… whatever. All this is fine by the way I’m not here to tell you it’s wrong but to STRESS you can use me, whether it be in secret, bi-weekly, everyday. As a bit of “guidance” in many aspects of life as I continue learning as I live.

& all this applies to anything. I’m speaking on behalf of dealing with others for the most part.

I wonder does all that get overshadowed because of who I am and how I choose to be…

Realistically

Realistically is an adjective that has two different definitions. 

  1.  In a way that demonstrates a sensible and practical idea of what can be achieved or expected.
  2. In a way that is accurate and true to life. 

People tend to mix the two up often, it’s keywords like “demonstrates”, “practical”, and “true”. 

“In a way that demonstrates a sensible and practical idea of what can be achieved or expected.” Is fiction, a part of your imagination as an individual. It’s made up and followed because it’s not opposed so therefore it can not be wrong & indeed it can because there’s no logic behind it only expectations. Is it unrealistic to set standards, hopes, and dreams beyond what’s practical? 

“In a way that is accurate and true to life.” Your reality will be different from the next persons reality so don’t put them in the same boat as you. A butterfly effect has a lot to do with the way many people live, and because of that they might feel like what is ideal for you is not ideal for them. Again it has a lot to do with how we’re raised for example it’s some things people don’t do in their household that I was raised doing, both might be different but both are also realistic. 

It’s okay to venture from reality in some instances it can be therapeutic. Don’t let anyone detour your dreams and aspirations because they aren’t “realistic” … to them. 

    The receiver of bad news 

    Post 11 

    Now before I get started understand I’m willing to receive a lot of hate in order to defend what I’m fond of , respect me for it ! At least I’ll burn with integrity. 

    Would you say being aloof contributes to realism?  

    I learned not to stress over the truth, but appreciate the fact it was told to me. After a while stuff  just doesn’t pain you anymore.  

    Being relatively okay with the bad in life does something to you, you miss out on so many emotional experiences. Those experiences help you with dealing with life instead of suppressing life. I don’t know what being at a solemn state all the time did to me but I can’t say I don’t appreciate it. As I think I would say it made “couping” easier but being honest I think it just contributes to a humble denial because you’re fully aware of you not being “okay”. What is “okay”? 

    At the same time you’ve built yourself to be “alright” so how you don’t really know what okay is supposed to be. 

    “Bad news” there’s no such thing if you’re open minded. You accept everything thrown your way, most of the time “bad news” is already solidified there is nothing you can do about, so why dwell on it? That’s a life tip to keep you from having a stress overload, but it does make a difference if you’re a realist or optimistic. 

    Don’t get me wrong it’s always a brighter side to things and of course some causalities could be avoided if people weren’t selfish but you have to take what you’re given. With that point I emphasize why it’s important to just roll with the punches and not let it break you down but to encourage you to choose your next decision wisely. I’m not saying you MUST be nonchalant or that this is the correct way to deal with unfortunate events, This is just me helping you keep some form of peace.  

    To close out I advise you to go listen to “BLOOD” by Kendrick Lamar off his Latest Project “DAMN.” 

    You don’t love me like you use to 

    Post 11

    Now before I get started understand I’m willing to receive a lot of hate in order to defend what I’m fond of , respect me for it ! At least I’ll burn with integrity.

    Accept the fact people are only going to generally like the idea of you let alone y’all together, once you’re realistic with that it’ll contribute to making life a little easier to live. 

    The “bright” side to that is just know you’re indented in their mind forever. The potential love interest just goes around looking for you in someone else & when they think they found it best believe it’s not authentic so the outcome is disastrous. Even though it might hurt you to watch from a distance because your actually at peace enough to wish the other person the best of luck you can’t intervene. Yes it might hurt you to watch someone you once adore burn in flames but it is what it is. 

    It took me years to understand “you love the idea of me”, the “idea” why would you like the idea of me and not the actual me being with you, you can have me but you rather dream of what we could’ve been, stupidity such as that I’ve accepted as “dodging a bullet” because in their head it’s okay and they don’t see how it doesn’t make any sense because they’re to busy being superficial. 

    I respect it everybody lives differently, I’ll go ahead and give someone the benefit of doubt and say they’re looking out for me by not being greedy with my presence and leaving me emotionally distraught. Think of it as “Ideas turn into dreams until you move forward into making them reality” & without the actual you in the persons life that’ll never happen so they have no choice but to settle for a lesser value of a person. 

    It’s never bad on your behalf because by the time you realize all of this your patiently waiting or them to get it together, I suppose most carry on with their life, because you see the potential together as a unit. The love was unconditional and sincere so it’ll always be something there whether it’s through a simple friendship or admiration from a distance. 

    Live easy, the end.