A Short Sermon: Entitlement Spitefulment

Forever thankful to be gentle enough to break myself down in order to be strong enough to build myself back up.

Today we will talk about entitlement; just like the “Am I Sensitive?” blog I am here to admit I am, trying not to be, entitled to a persons ability to do anything that involves me. I would love to try to figure out how to differentiate entitlement from respect but I don’t really know where to begin…if I don’t hold people accountable that will result in disrespect right?

I rEsPeCt YoU sO yOu HaVe TO rEsPeCt mE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

That’s not how it works at all, in fact a person doesn’t have to do anything and I’m just now growing up high enough to understand it’s nothing I can do about that. Except accept it in order to respect it (or myself) enough to not deal with it and that’s it, it’s really no common ground without making excuses and I’m no longer willing to compromise with the “but’s” of life as far as considering what I sincerely have a distaste for. In a perfect world reciprocation wouldn’t be as tedious as it is for me, which has resulted in me taking the initiative to be around those who understand the concept of common courtesy to make my life “easier” when it comes to co-existing with others. At this point in my life I’m pretty “tired” for a lack of words disinterested in the eagerness of things as simple as having to prove my willingness like I’ve said before, and in my journey of breaking the habit of having a kink for finding comfort in being uncomfortable… I’ve been allowed a lot of time to self reflect so I can rework my life (take accountability for how I’m treated because it starts with me but that’s a conversation for another day).

With that I’ve noticed Entitlement is rooted in selfishness and it is selfish of me to have expectations for people who did not ask to have the responsibility of carrying out my premeditated expectations of them, that more than likely doesn’t even have anything to do with them, but make up for something someone has already done. That I use to define what relationships, in general, are regardless of individuality in contrast. Or realizing even if I don’t choose to hold expectations over a persons head when dealing with them, understanding that the outcome might be repetitive because I keep surrounding myself around the same kind of people.
So shame on me.

Entitlement will also have you unintentionally questioning yourself as well, especially if you’re the type to internalize the actions of others like I use to. It’s been a many of times where I just said “What’s wrong with me?” because I felt like… and I promise it’s not that serious. You just have to take things for exactly what they are.

Well that’s it for this chapter of unlearning bad habits. This process I’m going through calling myself out has been for the better, I function a lot more swiftly since I’m more light hearted. I promised to extend my ability to be over-standing to myself and it’s the best thing I could’ve done. Until next time.

Wishing Everybody Peace x Joy x Prosperity Always, All Ways.
Talk To You Later

To Be Or Not To Be, Single

Successful, Single, and Sad.

Those are the three S’s we will be going over today [I just wanted to approach this humorously dramatic]. Although in all seriousness those are the bases of this post today.

I’ve become one with the idea I’ll be single for life, I know I established this already, but it was still a smidgen of hope that wouldn’t be the case as someone who is willing. I am writing today to say I take back my smidgen! I’m truly no longer “hopeful”, never really was looking either for that matter anyways.

For starters, I think I should establish that I don’t believe in marriage and I don’t find having children to be a necessity. So my outlook on my life is not only a tad bit selfish but bias.

Now that that’s out of the way.. I’ve noticed that my ability to be busy seems to be almost like a turn off to most. I’m finding it to be the most peculiar thing as well. But hear me out… stability, having my own, just doing for myself will always be more important than a “relationship” to me. I’m more important than a relationship to me, technically. Obviously. I’ve figured if the person isn’t as busy as me it just won’t work essentially.

Then it’s the aspect of nobody ever really stays long enough anyways… so… would you say I jeopardize all potential relationships by friendzoning? Now if I did I’d clarify by saying… my friends be in my life forever, so if I like you in my life of course you’re going to be my friend because my friends don’t leave. Terrible yet logical habit. IF! I had to say this hypothetically in regards of myself. Truth be told I prioritize my friends more anyways so if we’re being totally honest here [laughs out loud] being my friend is the best bet.

Aside from all that you ask yourself “Maybe I just haven’t met someone I’d desire to make time for” but like bbymutha said “catching dick and missing money, missing money catching dick” [janis ian dyke] it’s all pretty frivolous and irrelevant to me since my success and independence determines my availability to feel comfortable enough to not focus on maintaining and elevating my comfort. And to be honest if you aren’t helping me do that you must obviously not care about me like you think I should feel anyways because helping me would help you. … wow that sounds selfish. It’s my truth though so I won’t take it personally.

All in all I’ve come to the conclusion! [where is my drumroll????]

I think I lowkey suck. It’s sad but I’m not remorseful about it either. I won’t dwell on it because I don’t see myself working on it since being bound 2 isn’t really a priority to me anyways!

Question: I wonder how many adults feel such a way and how has it effected their love life. I feel like I’ve talked about this before but I can’t remember and like I mention I never really go read my old blog post again.

I just said to myself “I can love later” but when is later? What if I never obtain the level of comfort I desire to enjoy and miss out on love? I like the idea of love but I don’t like the idea of being slowed down by codependency. I always felt drake in my soul when he said “relationships slowing me down they slow down the vision, guess I’m not in the position to deal with commitment.” [redemption]

Wishing everybody Peace x Joy x Prosperity Always, All ways! Talk To Y’all Later. – Aunty

Do We Deprive Ourselves Love By Not Disregarding What We Love 

What is compromising? Is it an essential in a relationship? Can your relationship succeed without compromising with your partner? Do you agree with the  “You must  Take it or Leave it?”

How can you balance loving more than one thing ? I’m not referring to the love of a parent verses who you’re in a relationship with. I’m saying can you love “partying” for instance as much as you love your partner? It’s been many breakups due to the fact “they loved ___ more than they loved me” and I think if you feel such a way don’t make the person balance their lifestyle just accept it or move on. I’m sure it wouldn’t be any hard feelings after a while understand the loved one may not feel that the balance is important but I also feel as before you entered the relationship you knew and still decided to become “one” with the them. Meaning you were accepting.

As if … you would compromise.

Now don’t think the person who doesn’t want to necessarily “compromise” isn’t going through a battle themselves. They have to debate whether or not they want to balance their love life with the stuff they love or do they want to finish loving what they desire guilt-free. “Do they love what they love enough to not care about receiving love from another person. Ultimately the answer is what many people are scared to do, which is end it. As time progressed it was written somewhere in the rules of life that we must eventually settle down. We must “settle” Without any logical explanation besides to finish help populating the world and keeping humanity alive.

I believe in being selfish, nonetheless especially in predicaments like these, because who has your back more than you? It’s important not to lose touch with what you love because then you’ll be miserably in love and that’s not what love is about. If it’s “destined” to be then all will work out, an unconditional balance will be created, and all aspects are to be respected. That’s the true kind of balance and the real meaning of compromising.

To close out I advise you to go listen to “PRIDE” by Kendrick Lamar off his Latest Project “DAMN.”