Apology Shmology

An Apology is

1. a) an admission of error or discourtesy accompanied by an expression of regret. b) an expression of regret for not being able to do something.

2. a) something that is said or written to defend something that other people criticize. b) excuse.

I know and understand the significance of an apology ideally. It’s to right wrongs, acknowledge mistakes, and so on but essentially they rub me the wrong way.

I was never a fan of accepting an apology, I tried for the sake of the people who give them to me but it doesn’t feel sincere to accept such a, what I consider worthless, gesture. I assume I appreciate hearing someone say their faults in situations but after that I much rather them deal with that among themselves.

I’ll always feel like “you did it, own it, because if you really knew how it would effect me or make me feel you probably would’ve refrained from doing yet! You wanted to do it, so you did it. Own it.” I don’t look at that as grudge holding either I relate it to accountability.

It might also be the only way I can control something that has gotten out hand because in wise reconsideration the ball is back in my court and I can determine what’s next. In a sense it brings me satisfaction that you can’t enjoy yourself due to your guilt, brings me even more satisfaction knowing you’re aware you let me down.

I’ll link a read regarding how I do move forward, if I decide to, without accepting an apology essentially here.

S/N: Just because I decline you’re apology doesn’t imply I have any resentment towards you and also won’t still interact with you.

Short Sermon: An Eye for An Eye

People who fuck over the ones who love them often have a hard time accepting love in the long run due to the fact THEY’VE watered down what it means to love someone.

Love holds no significance to them anymore.

Essentially they are simply just avoiding their own karma afraid that what they once done to someone else can now be done to them. They can’t trust anyone because they took the trust people had for them and used it maliciously.

Aside from stunting the growth and finally enjoying the feelings of falling in love or being in love. After given enough thought, if you’ve ever loved someone so much and had it actually sincerely reciprocated, whether it be a friend or lover.. you realize these kind of people probably will never experience that genuineness. To live a life where the people YOU choose to have around you, you can’t trust therefore causing you to settle in suppressed emotions such as anxiousness, worry, and lack there of is a life I can’t imagine. Especially regarding with my friends.

The question is, how do you prove to someone as such that you love them without overstepping what it is to love into manipulation due to the fact that they’re the ones scared of being love?

Wishing everybody much Peace, Joy, and Prosperity! All ways, Always.

B.I.A.S.E.D

Post 20

Now before I get started understand I’m willing to receive a lot of hate in order to defend what I’m fond of , respect me for it ! At least I’ll burn with integrity. 

Why do we deem certain types of “Crazy” more acceptable than others? When I say this I’m referring to the “Crazy” of a Man vs the “Crazy” of a Woman, for the most part, in this particular post.

Crazy is Crazy.

“Crazy” can be interpreted many different ways mainly regarding what’s unethical to another! but we forget it holds emotional value we also disregard.

Crazy can triple as an Adjective, Adverb, or Noun

• Adjective Definition: 1. Mentally Deranged, especially as manifested in a wild or aggressive way. |Extremely annoyed or angry | foolish

2. Extremely Enthusiastic

• Adverb Definition: 1. Extremely.

• Noun Definition: 1. A mentally deranged person.

If you take the time to decipher crazy you notice we use it loosely to begin with. So what’s really “crazy” isn’t necessarily “crazy” it’s just blatant stupidity if not contradictory, to another, or goes against someone else’s moral standing as I said in the beginning.

As I get older I realize it’s different categories to “crazy” here’s a few:

1. Relationship crazy: which deals with the emotional aspect of it all not saying one emotion is superior to the other but when women act out it’s justified as passion, when a man acts out in the same way it’s looked at as outlandish behavior. We disregard that legitimately it was still indeed emotional outrage on either sides of the field causing one to do what, react how, they did.
2. The mentally ill who shouldn’t really be called crazy since it’s insensitive & most likely they don’t have the proper help, if were being specific.
3. Serial killer crazy which are just both of the above.

Overall to keep it simplistic and just give you an idea of what I’m getting at:

I love how some women are aggressively rude/toxic towards men, intentionally, w/ the idea that, that can be used to determine their masculinity because they should be able to “handle” it, and if they don’t want to deal with unfavorable behaviors as such they are … less of a man. Then again I assume it’s because it’s some strange rhetoric out there that a “Strong” woman is a woman that deals with the same toxic/rude misbehavior from men out of the sake of “he’s a man”.

I’ve noticed that the world is becoming more specific and that’s fine but we can’t be specific without being precise, knit picking, observing, and being unbiased to figure out the butterfly effect of everything. So I guess this post is more based on our(WoMen) lack to respect emotion equally. I assume it’s because we don’t respect a mans vulnerability while also brushing off a women’s.

If you ended up annoyed that I kept comparing men & women because in your world they aren’t the same I proved my point of double standards because I said in the beginning “crazy is crazy” which was the point. The correct standing of “crazy” can’t be justified depending on the particular gender.

the cover is a still from “Its a thin line between love and hate, 1996

To whom, to those, to all! For what!

Being “misunderstood” plus unwilling to compromise I wonder do I still serve my purpose. I believe I was created to rebuild the mind of! I’ll sacrifice myself on behalf of producing a new mind, outlook on life, anything. I’m willing to give since I know the take will forever stand in the way of your thoughts.

I don’t recommend this to everyone, I’m okay because I can rebuild myself, when I what you can say “destroy” myself in a sense. In this process I also learn the reasons and motives of others making me be more understanding overall therefore the next person I come across can also gain a new level of mental/emotional, understanding.

I’m not sure why I feel the need to make this my responsibility, I take that back. I do this because it’s a lack of open-mess worldwide so if I can stress the aspects of difference being perfectly fine it’s the least I can do. It’s a way of helping develop the process of “understanding” become easier.

Trial and error taught me most of, as in 60% including my mother & sister being open with their trial and errors to go off of boosting it to probably 87%, not everyone is able to make mistakes.. openly. Let alone be okay with making a mistake and having the time to actually learn something from it. So the fact I can take advantage of that on behalf of those not able to you begin to think of it like you’re just doing a favor.

Now The mind is so complex even when people “think” they’ve disregarded what I’ve done keyword being WILLINGLY they go back on it trying to make it not make sense… essentially just making it make sense but not admitting it.. or at least admitting it openly. Which is fine. I don’t do it for notoriety but I figured out the discrepancy on why some people don’t favor me.

& With all the good comes the bad.

Unfortunately my biggest pet peeve when doing all this is some people are just unperceptive and it’s sad. I understood it’s the concept of being guarded. Being so closed off in order to “protect” yourself can eventually be equivalent to looking out a window with your eyes closed. You miss out on everything and just reiterate the idea of being scared of… whatever. All this is fine by the way I’m not here to tell you it’s wrong but to STRESS you can use me, whether it be in secret, bi-weekly, everyday. As a bit of “guidance” in many aspects of life as I continue learning as I live.

& all this applies to anything. I’m speaking on behalf of dealing with others for the most part.

I wonder does all that get overshadowed because of who I am and how I choose to be…

Time is a terrible thing to waste.

post 15

Now before I get started understand I’m willing to receive a lot of hate in order to defend what I’m fond of, respect me for it! At least I’ll burn with integrity.

We have this weird obsession with blaming time on why we’re miserable even if its temporary.  “Time” what is time? Have you seen “In Time” starring Justin Timberlake? Great movie if you haven’t.

• TIME is a noun meaning 1. The indefinite continued progress of existence and events in the past, present, and future regarded as a whole.2.A point of time as measured in hours and minutes past midnight or noon.

People trap themselves in all aspects of life when they think time has a lot to do with things that have no actual deadline.

Everyone likes to blame the reason they are in a you could say non beneficial relationship on “time”. An Excuse to remain in distress is ” I’ve invested to much time.” even though I understand I don’t think people understand as much time as they’ve invested they have wasted. The point emphasized is that they don’t have time to waste yet remain in a stagnant relationship with no growth, which sounds like a waste of time to me.

Career wise we believe we’re running out of time only because we see it never stops so we must have it all together in a timely fashion instead of focusing on getting it done in general.

We don’t enjoy life to the fullest due to “time” we feel as if we must grow up at a certain speed instead of enjoying time as it progresses, we rush it. Isn’t it ironic we rush to grow up just to grow into feeling like were running out of time even when moving forward in a timely matter.

The only time we admire the beauty within time is when we’re getting off of work, waiting for that class to be over and living legends. People who stand for something wish to live on forever meaning the have outlived time because their words, paintings, music, or fashions continue to stay relevant after we’ve turned to dust.

Sam Is Dead w/ Visual – Odd Future

This cover was from the movie ” House Party 2″

Accept Accepting Acceptance

Hello! Good morning, afternoon, or evening.

As we prosper we learn to accept the fact that people can & will stress you out while adjusting to the thought that it’s nothing we can do about it. Some people will not see anything wrong with what they do until you choose not to deal with it and even still the problem will be with you and not themselves.

To start accepting the fact that some of the people you absolutely love can be horrendous to your lifestyle can be stressful especially when you have such an over abundance of appreciation for them. Just remember you can’t want to be in someone else’s life more than they want you in theirs themselves.

Acceptance is the finale when it comes to easy living. It’s a thing called good stress & bad stress! Bad stress is stress that doesn’t teach you a lesson to contribute to you not stressing again, while good stress helps you evolve correctly making you stronger in the process.

The cover is a photograph captured by John H. White in 1973 during the Bud Billiken Parade, Chicago.

Love is all about willingness 

Post 10

Now before I get started understand I’m willing to receive a lot of hate in order to defend what I’m fond of , respect me for it ! At least I’ll burn with integrity.

Are you willing to sacrifice your own sanity to conform so who you’re in love with is satisfied ? Is it selfish to not want to?

Willingness is slightly different from being selfless, Willingness is a noun regarding the QUALITY or state of being prepared to do something; readiness. While selflessness was addressed in a previous post, Selflessness is an adjective meaning one can be more CONCERNED with the needs and wishes of others than with one’s own: unselfish. Personally I would consider Willingness just the ability to know you’re in control of what you decide to tolerate and whether you even want to tolerate it.

When you’re in love it’s a necessity you compromise, right, and along with compromising comes tolerance and the fine line between the two gives you willingness, tolerance revolves around being annoyed but the good outways the bad so the time spent being uncomfortable is….what you can say “alright”, you can complain but choose not to.

I believe that people adapted to taking your willingness for granted but it’s your will, so realistically you’re not selfish you’re just doing what you desire to do.

Understand that a person can be willing but they can just as tired and eventually the willingness will not exist so don’t try to manipulate it, to balance it out and do not take take take I encourage you be considerate. To be willing is not to mind the hurt, be okay with the truth regardless of how displeasing it can be, and always keep the well being of yourself in mind.

Learn to mind your business, you are your own person who consider different things to be “acceptable” oppose to the next person. I’m reminding you of this because people give themselves the right to determine how the next person should react to life and your concern might just be appreciated but understand that’s all it will ever be sometimes. The advice, opinion, or whatever it is does not effect the lifestyle of a person who see nothing wrong with how they are living. Mind your business!