“People think I’ve changed on them”

Why can’t people accept the fact you can outgrow them? It’s never personal, you should actually be proud of me! Encourage me to go even further. It’s no love loss just more knowledge to be gained, you should adapt to getting away from people who don’t want to see you grow up instead of being in a stagnant place in life. Those type of people probably just want you around for entertainment purposes and that extremely toxic.

It’s unfortunate that people think because you can days without talking to them they’ve done something wrong, which makes me wonder.. “what did you do?”, and they feel like they need an explanation on why you stopped communicating with them, momentarily for the most part. Understand we just don’t relate anymore it’s okay no hard feelings I wish you the best, you won’t be forgotten.

It’s sad that people live with the thoughts you must stay extremely close to people in order to avoid conflict of you being labeled as “fraud”. Maybe the person that’s being “left behind” should incorporate some type of positive change in their life so they aren’t focused on what others are doing in a somewhat negative way. I can’t believe people give grief over someone prospering. I get it a lot of friendships end over people “changing” in good or bad ways but the good is always mistaken for “snob-like” behavior so it turns into envy and people feel like they can disrespect you quite often because “who do you think you are?” 

To wrap it all up I just encourage people to understand sometimes you won’t relate with certain people as you continue to grow. Don’t make the person feel bad for prospering in fact just be apart of their support system, nine times out of ten they forever love you for that.

What people don’t tell you about loving yourself. 

My biggest fear is to love someone more than I love myself.

Once you adapt to loving yourself unconditionally you fall deeply in love with who you are. Even though that might just sound like the life to live you don’t realize how much of a box you place yourself in! You feel like people can never give you the love you give yourself, so what do you need them for? Which is extremely sensible but the unfortunate part is you cut developing a bond people short without knowing a potential outcome. You feel like “If you cause me stress I don’t cause myself why would I want you in my life.” I’ve come to grips with acknowledging how unrealistic that mind frame is due to the fact every relationship has its cloudy days. Yet and still, I’ll live.

When you love yourself you don’t look for validation of yourself in others! You aren’t exactly what people would call self-centered but you know what works for you and how your vibe flows. I’m not saying you feel like you’re better than the next person, it’s just all about self-respect. So much time has been invested into yourself you don’t have time to waste on anything not contributing to the bettering of you.

After a while you become okay with the fact you might just be single for the rest of your life because its like you can finish living carelessly when it comes to another persons feelings. BUT at least you have yourself. Oppose to living life with the mind frame of “what if” or simply settling for less because that’s what’s around at the moment. If you stay true to yourself you’ll always have a piece of mind to hold when in distress, the opinion of yourself is not compromised because you are fully aware of the truth.

For as many pros it is it’s also cons and they are all developed psychologically because you love you. When you love yourself you become overprotective you constantly remind yourself how much you owe yourself to always stay true to your own decisions. You hope people understand where you’re coming from even though you don’t care because in your head you know what you mean, you see the potential within yourself. Under the circumstances of no one besides yourself is any change involved knowing change could be great only in the process of overtime growth oppose to someone demanding a change to benefit them. 

Even though you know what’s wrong & what’s right your actions are souly to accommodate you & you become real unapologetic for it.  

Selfish or Selfless 

  • Aloof – (a•loof) Adjective, Not Friendly or Forthcoming; cool and distant.

“They were courteous but faintly aloof.”
An informal way to call someone aloof is “Standoffish”

I wonder are you born in such a solemn state of living or is it something you develop over time. From a personal stand point I definitely feel like I developed an unemotional lifestyle regarding things an average person would’ve consider sentimental from trials and tribulations such as Friendly Rejection or not having a close knit family, after repeated unacceptance from peers you start to keep to yourself & self reflect, resulting in bettering yourself. When your family isn’t typically “close” certain things just don’t bother you for instance … When Holidays come around I’m in a cool but distant state of mind since it’s only my mother, sister and an occasional cousin here and there, I love them everyday so my love doesn’t increase during the end of year, there is no reason. A con to this is you feel like everyone should relate to your lifestyle of not being emotionally attached all the time, and that’s the selfish perspective. For example I’m good for feeling like “If it doesn’t bother me it damn sure shouldn’t have bothered you” therefore I won’t necessarily care about the other persons feelings regarding the situation because it’s not a big deal theoretically. I also feel as if that characteristic makes me a more solid individual because my actions aren’t based on emotion but solely my personal preference when it comes to decision making.

  • Magnanimous – (Mag•nan•I•mous) Adjective, Vey Generous or forgiving, especially toward a rival or someone less powerful than ones self.

“Her magnanimous contributions to the art world.”

Selfless, hopeless but not regarding yourself, selfless because you cater to others. Someone’s presences can bring you so much happiness you never want to miss spending anytime with them. The love for someone/something takes all of you literally, you become more concerned on something that’s not you … you don’t know who you are anymore, but that’s fine! Selflessness can be beautiful because you aren’t looking for anything back it’s unconditional willingness but it’s also like “Are you even happy?” Internally. Which can be addressed later because it’s not about you, it’s about them. You can even want the best for someone more than they want it for themselves because you see the potential in them outside looking in not realizing all it is … is … potential. You’re living off hopes and dreams but you know dreams come so it’s all good.

How do you balance out two personas like that regarding a love life? How do you balance out the two personas when it comes to general living? Which one is worst?

Problems & Selfless – PND

Shihan- This type of love (Def Jam Poetry)

What is love… 

What is love?

I love the idea of love as a whole.

I’ve noticed it’s different types of love and it’s ways people go about showing love with that being stated why is some love accepted more morally than others?

Love is deeper than a fairytale wedding, or a few photographs with a nice message.

I believe “we” as a generation would be better at loving each other relationship wise if we didn’t rely on each other to give us a happiness we haven’t even gotten a chance to give ourselves. We aren’t completely satisfied with who we are that’s why the opinions of others matter, depending on what kind of person you are, so when we finally get someone we’re infactuated with we don’t want to lose them so you basically fight a ongoing battle with yourself because since we’re young souls we’re constantly learning something about ourselves we didn’t know before and when we embrace these new characteristics it comes across as a “negative” change instead of a form of growth, which also stops the prosperity of a relationship when building it in youth because we’re not complete masters of patience. To help make this process less difficult don’t love anyone until you love yourself, sincerely it’ll make it 10x easier and if the person really see your potential they’ll kind of wait for you to get it together but! Don’t take advantage of that because you know you see their potential as a lover and overdue their willingness to let you get yourself together that’s selfish.

  • Some people have never experienced the non-negative aspect of “love” so hate is the only way they can give their idea of love because they don’t know any better, the only thing you can do is wish them better days and hope eventually they get it together.
  • Its people who don’t know how to display affection at all instead of getting irritated work with them, it doesn’t mean they love you any less they just don’t know how to explain it to the point you know your appreciated enough.
  • There are people deeply in love with themselves & that’s fine too they are fully aware of their lack of a love interest because they have themselves through thick in thin their are not depending on someone else to give them something they can give themselves and they’re okay with that.
  • Some people absolutely positively love the idea of loving you because they know how beautiful yall existence could be but that’s all it is a theory within the mind of a maniac because as much as they love the idea of you guys together they’ll never actually be satisfied with being with you, I know it can hurt but it’s reality.
  • It’s a kind of person that just enjoys the simple things and with that being said don’t ever feel like you’re not doing enough or could do more because they are satisfied, their main concern is just you that’s all.
  • It’s people who are stuck in their ways, let them be, don’t try to change them just love them for who they are or leave them alone.
  • Then last but not least it’s the people who are thankful you have taken the time to love them, respect them, and give them the chance to do the same to you.

I honestly believe you can fall out of love, because if you relate love to other things since it’s unconditional when we’re younger we love a lot of stuff but as we get older the importance of other things become a priority more than other and eventually we don’t care for the presence of one thing in particular, it’s no hard feelings but it’s just not the same and I think those are one of the best bonds to have because they are sincere yall have the best intentions for each other and respect each other that’s true love to me personally (it doesn’t always have to end) but relatively speaking I know you guys get the point. That’s why I think bonds are the essential key regarding any type of relationship being built because you recognize the flaws but the good outways the bad and your accepting of that. You’ll deal with it because we love the person for who they are and see their potential along with wanting them to do good.

Here is a complimentary song that goes with the post, thank you.

Your love is king – Sade

Fashion makes the world go round

Post 8

Now before I get started understand I’m willing to receive a lot of hate in order to defend what I’m fond of , respect me for it ! At least I’ll burn with integrity.

You can dress any way you want to dress, there’s always Someone who’s going to like it along with the people who might feel it but wont give you your props then it’s the People who won’t respect your creative choices when cominbing pieces, those are the regular dressing people who rather see the world with no character because they have no character themselves, but don’t sweat it because eventually they’ll put on something and won’t feel to comfortable do to the fact they’ve teased others and that’s just life. I say this because I have experienced it myself (I happen not to be a complete Matcher as in I don’t dress following color coordination)  I have even said negative comments about someone’s attire & wondered why someone was able to walk out looking “ridiculous” then I realized it was self confidence they are self aware of who they are and want the world to see the self love via fabrics & colors. I feel as if fashion is one of the most disrespected self expressions in the world because everything was so structured previously so the fact so many years later it’s basically no preferred look is still not “normal” to others who aren’t use to change or open mindedness.

My biggest pet peeve is when someone who has no character feel as if they can talk down on someone else’s style preference, I believe even if you don’t like something it’s okay to have an opinion about it but DO NOT KNOCK IT. It might not seem like it but it’ll probably break the persons spirit 9 times out 10.

  • Don’t assume you know someone because of how they dress, clothes can be used to express anything from yourself to your feelings, I get approached many different ways because of how I dress, I try not to let it actually bother me, anymore, but it’s still a “what the fuck” type of vibe.
  • If you like it, please wear it, wear it with pride.
  • When you get dressed make sure you’re putting a smile on your face.
  • If you don’t feel like THE WHOLE WORLD NEEDS TO SEE YOU FIT, take it off.
  • Don’t be a yes man and have your friend out here looking unpresentable, it should be a little logic to it
  • You might just like to follow trends, but because of that do not think you’re better than anyone else because at the end of the you FOLLOW not lead by example, you seen someone else and was inspired.
  • Half of the world that disses fashion the most doesn’t know the difference between polyester, silk, and satin.
  • It’s a difference between Inspiration & blatantly copying unapologetically & that is rude.
  • Designer isn’t always important!!!

When people don’t acknowledge where they get an idea from, it’s okay to say “___ is an influence in my lifestyle” that’s all considered showing love, hating takes 5-15 years off a persons healthspan, do better!

Make it last forever 

Post 7

Now before I get started understand I’m willing to receive a lot of hate in order to defend what I’m fond of , respect me for it ! At least I’ll burn with integrity.

“Females put themselves through misery when they’re in a relationship with a careless man/boy, why? Because that makes them feel important” Some women/girls stay for the simple fact they have nothing else to do, so feeling like they boyfriend/husband will eventually “act right” is an “accomplishment” not even realizing they really FORCED their presence upon the man first of all & second of all he didn’t necessarily change for the greater good just changed how to hide evidence etc if that’s what you want to call it.

I’m not “concerned” but more curious on why some females are so dense when it comes to relationships, my conclusion is … *drum roll*

  1. They don’t want to seem weak because they gave up on the person they are so deeply in love with.
  2. It might definitely be a benefit the girl is receiving, maybe it’s the fact he might have money, might be the cutest thing ever, or even compliment each other well to others so she’s living off of the opinions of society.
  3. They don’t want to “start over” with someone new.
  4. A large amount of the world feels like if you don’t have a man your doing Something wrong, even considered a slight sign of weakness.
  5. It’s a possibility the female might have low self esteem & in her case the good might outway the bad ,barely, nothing an apology can’t fix in their head & an apologies are deeply appreciated because it’s a sign of sincerity.
  6. The fact they can play the role of Joey Franko from Cheaters and find out if their partner is cheating can be amusing to them because they wouldn’t be considered “stupid” since they figured it out so they see nothing wrong with the situation because at the end of they day they’re finding out the truth… eventually.
  7. Maybe it’s about attention, after being publicly embarrassed for instance you develop an audience and people come to your rescue because they’re fascinated in the situation outside looking in & that’s okay because it reassures the female that SOMEONE still cares even if it’s not the person they desire to be with.

At the end of the day we’re going to blame it all on being in love Anyways so to each his own because we all love differently. You never know maybe you’ll be so deeply in love your blind to reality too.

To close this out I give you guys two songs regarding the nature of this post.

From Time – Drake ft Jhene Aiko

Problems & Selfless – PND

Camp Flog Gnaw Carnival 2016 

Some of the best 3 hundred dollars I’ve spent In a long time. The environment is so beautiful & the vibes you come across are instilled in your heart because the strangers you see along with meet are so carefree that it makes you proud to say you’ve taken place in such a chill event, especially since the brains behind it happen to be a misunderstood soul who genius ways get overlooked, When I tell some ppl That I’m going to Camp Flog Gnaw they feel as if it’s full of Ignorance & ruthless kids with no manners, and that makes you wish they were here to see all the kind & sincere love.

I enjoy this event because to know your in the same environment as the people you happen to adore just makes you feel good then you also think about how not weird you are because here is thousands of people enjoying the same things as you so it’s “regular”.

This event brings so many ppl together it’s truly beautiful every time I come here I create many new friendships & I love it because those are memories that live on forever with me.

Here are some Fellow Floggers xoxo

Left to right: @oddbreycuzz (Taurus – from Oakland,Ca) @Caliafrican (Leo – from Oakland,Ca traveled from Northridge,Ca) @Jazlynnrenay – (Scorpio from Los Angles,Ca)
@Tonyscreation
Left to right: @JusticeChardonnay (Gemini – Traveled from Bakersfield) @Brittaineeb
@visionbysonny – His overalls were special because people he came across at the carnival they could write on his overalls. (Pisces – From Dallas,TX lives in Echo Park)
@Crucially_Rapaport – Very Outgoing Taurus
Left: @Rtsyonmmies (Virgo – Traveled from Vallejo,Ca) Their vibe was immortal.
@Siriuslycease (Gemini – Traveled all the way from Houston) @Fvckingdope_ (Taurus – From Chicago) @thatgreenstone (Leo – Lives in Los Angeles) @Rakeemmilesraps (Traveled from Maryland) @akidnameddomo (Pisces – Traveled from Ohio)
Left to right: @Jillowsmith (Traveled from Cleveland, Ohio) @Just_Kyria (Traveled from Petersburg, Florida)
@BadGalMyia (Gemini – Traveled from Lancaster,Ca)
Left to Right: @Jonnyrsvp @El.Stephane (Traveled from San Diego)
Left to Right: @Milothelight @WhoIsChrisKing (Sagittarius – from Fontana, Ca)
“That’s my Bestfriend, That’s my Bestfriend”
Left to Right: @_toxique @teianottia @rawwkarma_ Spice Gurlz Are Back & They’re Better
Prima Donna
NoName – Sunny Duet