Short Sermon: Spiritual Envy

When you become one with a certain stature of self awareness and sincerity regarding who you are, what you do, along with how you treat people it’s hard to not take the actions of others personally.

No one asks of me to wear my heart, feelings, sensibility, or ability to be whatever on my sleeve but I do so because that’s how I flow. I’m not afraid of the hurt that might come with being so receptive. Such as being emotionally distressed, spiritually disconnected, just completely blindsided by the actions of others it’s all growing pains I appreciate when not used against me.

I understand I might sound too good to be true due to me being straightforward and with that I feel as if you should be proud I see something in you to allow you to ultimately share me with you, in any aspect.

When someone gets the opportunity to infiltrate the secure element you’ve created for yourself I feel like it’s done on purpose. That individual knew they didn’t have what it took, yet they decided to move forward and disrupt instead of self assist in the hopes of becoming better or even realizing that something wasn’t for them.

Selfish.

You can not be sensible and fully unaware of your actions. I know you can’t. I take all actions against me personal because retrospectively it’s a form of attack. You couldn’t conquer me therefore you rather destroy. In the hopes you don’t feel lonely at the bottom of self despair since sinking down is easier than growing up.

Protect yourself, your energy, element, and aura because you’re in control of that. People much rather focus on you and create a diabolical plan to tear you down since they see you as the structure they can’t find the strength to build themselves to become what they long to be.

Spiritual Envy is a different kind of evil.

Wishing everybody much Peace, Joy, and Prosperity! All ways, Always.

Just finished my 20th lap around the sun

I “risk” a lot being myself or staying true to who I am. By not compromising to become what other people want from me and only abiding by what I know to be authenticity, I’m not “universal”. Universal in this universe is to cater to one idea of personal discretion, people tend to start being selfish with you, who you are.

That’s not how I’m willing to live.

Overall the idea of all of that doesn’t necessarily bother me per say. I’m just always being reminded about how much better I’d be, If I were to present myself for the sake of admiration from other people. Which kind of comes across as who I am doesn’t hold much “significance” in retrospect of course. More often than not we are to be molded by someone who doesn’t even live up to their own expectations that they are forcing on you. (Family & society has a bad habit of doing this)

In addition to the social media craze being a guide to insanity, insecurity, and insincerity. It often makes you feel like you’re doing something wrong when you’re simply being yourself in some cases. It’s okay to feel like a failure, usually within the despair that comes with it is hunger to approach whatever better next time. Instead, as of late we’ve been questioning ourselves not for the greater good of ourselves to contribute to bettering us but how to make people like us. So “failure” hits harder since it’s not to be an option. As if it’s a incorrect way to be ourselves to begin with..

Everybody is different! That’s what creates versatility, if we were all on the same page we’d learn nothing new. If we all looked the same the beauty in art would seemingly decrease do to unappreciative outlook. If we all had the same personality we wouldn’t know how to function outside of what we’re use to. I read once “If it wasn’t for villains it would be no heroes.”

What is the point? Are we people pleasing, which is fine I just rather people not pass it for what it’s not and that’s a “I don’t give a fuck attitude” because you do. Are we setting a staple of boarder thinking? Are we longing to be liked, if not loved? Are we looking forward to monetary triumph? What’s the purpose of what we do? Who do we do it for? What do we mean to ourselves?

I read that after we’ve accomplished a goal we don’t realize that the importance was minute because we don’t know what to do next after wading in the success. If you put it into perspective after you’ve accomplished, obtained, or whatever you kind of forget about it. It’s no longer important, you’re bored, on to the next, you did it. Then what.

Point is there’s no blueprint to follow when staying truth to being original. I suppose being lost is part of it all since in the travels to the next destination we elevate.

To whom, to those, to all! For what!

Being “misunderstood” plus unwilling to compromise I wonder do I still serve my purpose. I believe I was created to rebuild the mind of! I’ll sacrifice myself on behalf of producing a new mind, outlook on life, anything. I’m willing to give since I know the take will forever stand in the way of your thoughts.

I don’t recommend this to everyone, I’m okay because I can rebuild myself, when I what you can say “destroy” myself in a sense. In this process I also learn the reasons and motives of others making me be more understanding overall therefore the next person I come across can also gain a new level of mental/emotional, understanding.

I’m not sure why I feel the need to make this my responsibility, I take that back. I do this because it’s a lack of open-mess worldwide so if I can stress the aspects of difference being perfectly fine it’s the least I can do. It’s a way of helping develop the process of “understanding” become easier.

Trial and error taught me most of, as in 60% including my mother & sister being open with their trial and errors to go off of boosting it to probably 87%, not everyone is able to make mistakes.. openly. Let alone be okay with making a mistake and having the time to actually learn something from it. So the fact I can take advantage of that on behalf of those not able to you begin to think of it like you’re just doing a favor.

Now The mind is so complex even when people “think” they’ve disregarded what I’ve done keyword being WILLINGLY they go back on it trying to make it not make sense… essentially just making it make sense but not admitting it.. or at least admitting it openly. Which is fine. I don’t do it for notoriety but I figured out the discrepancy on why some people don’t favor me.

& With all the good comes the bad.

Unfortunately my biggest pet peeve when doing all this is some people are just unperceptive and it’s sad. I understood it’s the concept of being guarded. Being so closed off in order to “protect” yourself can eventually be equivalent to looking out a window with your eyes closed. You miss out on everything and just reiterate the idea of being scared of… whatever. All this is fine by the way I’m not here to tell you it’s wrong but to STRESS you can use me, whether it be in secret, bi-weekly, everyday. As a bit of “guidance” in many aspects of life as I continue learning as I live.

& all this applies to anything. I’m speaking on behalf of dealing with others for the most part.

I wonder does all that get overshadowed because of who I am and how I choose to be…

Forgetness

Post 13

Now before I get started understand I’m willing to receive a lot of hate in order to defend what I’m fond of , respect me for it ! At least I’ll burn with integrity. 

It’s easy to comprehend the purpose of the phrase “forgive and forget” but how easy is it to do? Is Forgiveness more essential when living peacefully oppose to forgetting? Which is more important Forgiveness or Forgetting? Is a grudge caused by not forgetting or lack of forgiveness? 

You can love a person but hate what they did

I figured forgiveness is important because the only heart that’s filled with sorrow is your own. It is its own independent structure that only has to do with you, your mind, and your soul. Forgiving is more psychological than forgetting regarding an emotional aspect. Never let a person persuade your forgiving into condoning the actions of the offender. 

Nine times out of ten when you think about it your “forgiveness” Isn’t as important as “forgetting” to the other party. Not many people see their faults within problems they just look pass any deformed self characteristics, especially if they aren’t usually addressed, because they seen no problem to begin with. As long as you have forgotten what was done it’s a more secure feeling of relief. 

I believe forgetfulness can cause problems because it’ll make the toxins within your life feel as if they can repeat fraud actions. To forget means “to fail to remember” with that mind frame it’s easier to justify why the same mistake could possibly be done again. 

Theoretically speaking forgiveness & forgetting don’t go together. In the perfect world it would be sensible because insulting ones intelligence wouldn’t be done so frivolously. So the saying “Fool me once shame on you. ” would stop after the first fool because you wouldn’t put to much pass the other person out of the generosity of your heart due to the fact you wouldn’t want to be fooled again. 

Overall forgiving is for the soul & forgetting is for reassurance. It’s okay not to forgive if you aren’t comfortable doing so and it’s okay to always remember what caused you some form of grief so you won’t have to relive it. 

Here’s a song to go with the Content you just read.  4:44 – Jay Z

Learn to use your words 

Use your words, we stress to communicate yet barely communicate because we don’t want to make people feel momentarily uncomfortable.

What makes us afraid to simply “talk” ? Are we afraid that we’ll be looked at crazy? Or maybe the thoughts are selfish and that’s frowned upon.

If we were to communicate better we would gravitate towards people that are more understanding regarding wherever our minds are at. That would eliminate the burden of having someone nonchalantly disagree with you simply because they don’t understand where you’re coming from. People can easily assume your wrong because of a misunderstanding or assumptions and that’s why it’s easier to not communicate in general. It’s difficult to “speak your peace” because you’ll like the presence of someone to the point you don’t want them to go so you don’t elaborate on how you feel since you don’t want them to necessarily leave.  Respect the fact that words can be physiological wounds in some instances, momentarily, and if a person desires to leave accept it. 

Communication isn’t only necessary in the relationships but in day to day life, when you’re dealing with the world it’s important you keep a structured way of thinking. Remember everyone is free to be opinionated you should learn how to  discuss your thoughts in a non-aggressive way so it’s no hard feelings just mutual understandings.

The cover of this piece is from the movie “Fences” starring Denzel Washington and Viola Davis.