Serenity, Surrendering, Self Esteem

Life sucks sometimes and that’s it!

Yes we could do better but could’ve, should’ve, would’ve. At some point it’s just talk and it’s easier to talk rather than listen.

I had to let my ass hit the ground with open arms recently and it was important to feel how it felt to not be my own saving grace.

What does it mean to surrender? I suppose it’s different for everybody depending on what you happen to be defeated by but if I speak for myself I’d say:

“I be so scared of change because I mistake growth for lack of control.”

Consider me an unorthodox neat freak when it comes to my life. And I’ve seem to grow tired rather than thankful as of late.

To surrender is to allow what is meant. See when we think of surrendering we think of being defeated which has a negative connotation. It’s truly not that bad, once you get out of your head.

With defeat comes new learning techniques to assure you aren’t to be defeated again, repetitively.

So with that being said… if we don’t “surrender” or experience defeat we will never see past what we already know and you’re eventually going to be playing ring around the rosie with inadequacy.

I wanted more for myself, in which I know I deserve, but I didn’t want to be wrong about what I thought I knew best (which is funny because clearly it wasn’t working for me anymore.)

To surrender to me is to accept it is more to— to be embarrassed, to wake up miserable, and to understand what you feel today can be in contrast to how you feel tomorrow… long as you allow your emotions to emote.

Serenity! Within constant battle against intuition you’ll never know what peace feels like. You’ll only ever experience breaks. [courtesy of unwarranted break downs]

Self esteem.. GET OVER YOURSELF! Nobody is perfect and it’s no blueprint on how to be the “perfect” person [wholeheartedly], only how to better yourself, personally. Even people who portray themselves as the ultimate person makes mistakes behind closed doors…and if they don’t imagine the pressure placed upon them to just know without trial and error.
We’ve all fallen before and we all tend to get up after doing so regardless.

Wasn’t that an awfully long way to say “to surrender means to live life” huh.

All in all just thought I’d share because why not? Until next time wishing everybody peace x joy x prosperity, always. All ways. Xoxo -Aunty