Regression = Progression

Regression! Sometimes you must backtrack to find depth in what went wrong, what feels incorrect, what the next step is. It’s okay to go back to what you know, don’t feel “guilty”. We know ourselves the best, we know the details of our life that shaped us to be who we’ve become, the feelings we push into oblivion, the wants, and everything else.

Periodically we progress so much we lose touch of what would be the next step in our life. That makes us feel uncomfortable, temporarily, due to confusion. What we once knew is now unfamiliar and while we’re stuck in the realm of ourselves we just don’t know.

We get to a point of finding ourselves going back to what started us, out of boredom or even in remembrance, to inspire us to move in the what would be “correct” direction.

In the game of monopoly (in theory) we go around the same board.. however many times just to essentially better ourselves. So if you feel like old versions of you can contribute to a better you, don’t question it.

By all this I mean everything is a butterfly effect as I say often. So in The trickling down of each situation, memory, or feelings you used as a lesson can be recycled to validate other lessons. It can spark the answers to the “why am I?” “Did I stop because…?”, “what am I doing this for?”, questions we feel like we shouldn’t have to actually think to answer. You can rely on feeling, feelings are important but can also be inadequate, especially when you feel nothing.

Much peace, joy, and prosperity xoxo

B.I.A.S.E.D

Post 20

Now before I get started understand I’m willing to receive a lot of hate in order to defend what I’m fond of , respect me for it ! At least I’ll burn with integrity

Why do we deem certain types of “Crazy” more acceptable than others? When I say this I’m referring to the “Crazy” of a Man vs the “Crazy” of a Woman, for the most part, in this particular post.

Crazy is Crazy.

“Crazy” can be interpreted many different ways mainly regarding what’s unethical to another! but we forget it holds emotional value we also disregard.

Crazy can triple as an Adjective, Adverb, or Noun

  • Adjective Definition: 1. Mentally Deranged, especially as manifested in a wild or aggressive way. |Extremely annoyed or angry | foolish

2. Extremely Enthusiastic

  • Adverb Definition: 1. Extremely.
  • Noun Definition: 1. A mentally deranged person.

If you take the time to decipher crazy you notice we use it loosely to begin with. So what’s really “crazy” isn’t necessarily “crazy” it’s just blatant stupidity if not contradictory, to another, or goes against someone else’s moral standing as I said in the beginning.

As I get older I realize it’s different categories to “crazy” here’s a few:

  1. Relationship crazy: which deals with the emotional aspect of it all not saying one emotion is superior to the other but when women act out it’s justified as passion, when a man acts out in the same way it’s looked at as outlandish behavior. We disregard that legitimately it was still indeed emotional outrage on either sides of the field causing one to do what, react how, they did.
  2. The mentally ill who shouldn’t really be called crazy since it’s insensitive & most likely they don’t have the proper help, if were being specific.
  3. Serial killer crazy which are just both of the above.

Overall to keep it simplistic and just give you an idea of what I’m getting at:

I love how some women are aggressively rude/toxic towards men, intentionally, w/ the idea that, that can be used to determine their masculinity because they should be able to “handle” it, and if they don’t want to deal with unfavorable behaviors as such they are … less of a man. Then again I assume it’s because it’s some strange rhetoric out there that a “Strong” woman is a woman that deals with the same toxic/rude misbehavior from men out of the sake of “he’s a man”.

I’ve noticed that the world is becoming more specific and that’s fine but we can’t be specific without being precise, knit picking, observing, and being unbiased to figure out the butterfly effect of everything. So I guess this post is more based on our(WoMen) lack to respect emotion equally. I assume it’s because we don’t respect a mans vulnerability while also brushing off a women’s.

If you ended up annoyed that I kept comparing men & women because in your world they aren’t the same I proved my point of double standards because I said in the beginning “crazy is crazy” which was the point. The correct standing of “crazy” can’t be justified depending on the particular gender.

the cover is a still from “Its a thin line between love and hate, 1996

To whom, to those, to all! For what!

Being “misunderstood” plus unwilling to compromise I wonder do I still serve my purpose. I believe I was created to rebuild the mind of! I’ll sacrifice myself on behalf of producing a new mind, outlook on life, anything. I’m willing to give since I know the take will forever stand in the way of your thoughts.

I don’t recommend this to everyone, I’m okay because I can rebuild myself, when I what you can say “destroy” myself in a sense. In this process I also learn the reasons and motives of others making me be more understanding overall therefore the next person I come across can also gain a new level of mental/emotional, understanding.

I’m not sure why I feel the need to make this my responsibility, I take that back. I do this because it’s a lack of open-mess worldwide so if I can stress the aspects of difference being perfectly fine it’s the least I can do. It’s a way of helping develop the process of “understanding” become easier.

Trial and error taught me most of, as in 60% including my mother & sister being open with their trial and errors to go off of boosting it to probably 87%, not everyone is able to make mistakes.. openly. Let alone be okay with making a mistake and having the time to actually learn something from it. So the fact I can take advantage of that on behalf of those not able to you begin to think of it like you’re just doing a favor.

Now The mind is so complex even when people “think” they’ve disregarded what I’ve done keyword being WILLINGLY they go back on it trying to make it not make sense… essentially just making it make sense but not admitting it.. or at least admitting it openly. Which is fine. I don’t do it for notoriety but I figured out the discrepancy on why some people don’t favor me.

& With all the good comes the bad.

Unfortunately my biggest pet peeve when doing all this is some people are just unperceptive and it’s sad. I understood it’s the concept of being guarded. Being so closed off in order to “protect” yourself can eventually be equivalent to looking out a window with your eyes closed. You miss out on everything and just reiterate the idea of being scared of… whatever. All this is fine by the way I’m not here to tell you it’s wrong but to STRESS you can use me, whether it be in secret, bi-weekly, everyday. As a bit of “guidance” in many aspects of life as I continue learning as I live.

& all this applies to anything. I’m speaking on behalf of dealing with others for the most part.

I wonder does all that get overshadowed because of who I am and how I choose to be…

Connections.

Post 18

Now before I get started understand I’m willing to receive a lot of hate in order to defend what I’m fond of , respect me for it ! At least I’ll burn with integrity

“My drawings represent how we fear things that are foreigner to us. I drew the full body without skin because it’s kinda like we have to peel ourselves back to see what’s there.” FTOT: @Solosherrell

We learn a little something something from everybody.

Whether it’s good, bad, or ugly it creates a learning experience that connects you and that person together for the rest of your lifetime.

or at least I like to think so…

Maybe it’s just my optimism that makes me think in such a way but I can’t say it doesn’t help me when it comes to becoming resentful in certain instances.

  • The Ugly: is usually unasked for truths. Overall you should always respect that the truth that was brought to you and especially told to you because that means they trusted you in some way. Just think of it as the lemons before we make lemonade. We either learn how to adapt or just take into consideration and move forward even though it’s not initially. what we thought independently.
  • The Good: is copacetic behavior easy going living you find captivating and incorporate into your own lifestyle.
  • The Bad: my personal favorite, is anything unfavorable to you. I say it’s my favorite because it usually is the real teacher you get a new concept of a person. You get to experience how the butterfly effect works; because of this, a persons does this, causing you to do that. It lets who you know how to respect different kinds of individuals in a sense without the hate.
“This one is symbolizing a damaged person that is happy” FTOT: @Solosherrell

Because of how the brain works regarding memory, when you grasp all this stuff and go to use it you trigger where you learned it from. So therefore if you picked up something from another person you will always refer back to them or the experience whether you’re fond of it or not. A great example is how we pick up speech patterns from another person. Like I stated previously you learn something in every instance it’s just up to you to consider them lessons and take what you can from it.

P.S Don’t take stuff so personal UNLESS! You’re for certain something was done with cruel intentions , somethings’ are just bad habits we develop overtime, we all have one.. maybe some.

The cover is from the movie “Extremely loud and incredibly close”

The importance of experiencing how it feels to be alone.

Post 17

Now before I get started understand I’m willing to receive a lot of hate in order to defend what I’m fond of , respect me for it ! At least I’ll burn with integrity

You may call it loneliness but I see it as “Developing Independence”.

I use to think it was kind of pathetic that I didn’t experience the whole dating in middle school or throughout high school but I think I saved myself a lot of grief. I became okay with the possibility of me being alone because it was all I was use to. Now that I’m out of school, adulting, I notice how many people have ridiculous self esteem issues due to premature relationships BECAUSE they became dependent of another person assuring them they were of a certain standard and without that person they don’t know exactly who they are as an individual.

Individuality is 1a. Total character peculiar to and distinguishing an individual from others. b) personality

When I say “relationships” I’m not only speaking romantically, this also applies to the friendly. People have become accustom to trading the loyalty to themselves for popularity, how heart wrenching is that? To make up for that lack of self love they rather surround themselves around miscellaneous people instead figuring it out through the strength of themselves solely.

Being able to not depend on perfection for personal satisfaction did me a great justice. I know who I am without the persistent presence of particular individuals. Since I’m sure of myself, for the most part, no one can ever discredit me for being “bad” unless it is myself so I’ll never take offense to any opinionated nonsense about myself ever. I don’t find myself questioning my existence because I fully aware of who I’ll always be, or am becoming.

I figure the folks who still feel lonely even with a person or group are still oblivious to themselves so even though they’re around people… the people they choose to be around could possibly just be a poor choice in character. Yet who would necessarily know better if you don’t know what you desire for yourself, yourself.

Enjoying your alone time allows you to learn about yourself. Only making it easier for you to grasp what you deserve from people. Right now I’ve noticed a great few standing for nothing; which happens to be them as an person lacking self love, meaning they lack a reason to be prideful. Which means they’ll also fall for anything; referring to letting people in your life who aren’t deserving of them.

After you go through this phase of trial and error while “finding yourself” you just learn to appreciate yourself more with reason besides what you do for others.

It’s not a bad thing to be alone for a period of time, I feel like everyone should enjoy the time to themselves. People don’t really know how to appreciate their alone time without having a pity party with themselves because being alone is looked at as something being wrong, it’s nothing wrong with being or becoming back in tune with yourself.

Sidenote: Stop doing stuff for people and expecting them to like, admire, or love you for it so it can justify you being a good person. For one nobody cares unless they want to and secondly you do nice things because it’s good to be a kind person NOT for notoriety.

Wishing Peace, Joy, Prosperity, or whatever your in need of at this time to all of you.

xoxo

Enjoy this song + visual “Loner” by Kali Uchis