I had to overshare like this as my last step to let go.

I’ve held me down in many ways, being I’ve kept all my secrets and I simply do not care to care anymore.
“You’re such an old soul.”, “You’ve been here before.”, “How are you so wise?” Is what the people say and I’m none of that. I just had to mature faster than I was suppose to, I’ve been through a lot, seen even more, and my wisdom comes from reminiscing pain by hoping to not make the same mistakes I witnessed first hand…. yet I find myself having to start over again and again. ‘Free’ – Deneiece Williams

“Have you ever lost your everything friend?”
“Do you miss your GRANDmother?”
“Have you ever been chilling and just get annoyed with everything that exist and you can feel your temperament rising?”
“Who raised you? Yourself?”

I’ve been living uncomfortably all my life until the last like 2 months. I don’t mean this in any way more than the lack of self efficiency when understanding the development of my frustrations. As it’s so hard to be mad at things you LOVE or are taught to LOVE more than yourself. The frustration of essentially having nobody for such a long time to get people who eventually still disappear. The frustration of knowing what you should be doing, doing, then crashing right back down because your momentum is destroyed due to depression. BUT you keep trying to end up just more tired and more “irritated” because you don’t want to try but you know you’re worth a lot more, to others, than just giving up even though nobody is helping you up either. ‘Mad’ – Solange ft. Lil Wayne

I’m 24 today and to say I’m surprised isn’t the correct word. I’m impressed quite plainly. I have noticed I have no eagerness to live probably from being burnt out from having to survive. I’m 24 but catching up with the childhood I didn’t have a chance to experience while also growing up and experiencing life from an adult perspective. It’s not that it’s difficult but it’s severely tiresome, it’s confusing. I’m playing catch up and undoing all bad things that were done to me that I took personally while reminding myself I’m deserving of good things in general. I’m also tired. I’m ready, to stop self sabotaging. 

I’ve experienced some things that I never realized truly bothered me as I’ve just brushed them off, so I thought, and that resulted in me being “mean”? “aggressive”? “quiet”, “unforgiving”, due to circumstances beyond my control sometimes; I lost my grandmother at 4! I remember that series of events vividly. My first bestie, my first memories, my first defense in favor of me just being!! GONE. Forever thankful for my infinite Angel, oh how I miss her. I’ve been sexually assaulted twice, my father has been in prison since I was a newborn[I just now stopped resenting him for that, yet it’s a lack of respect that will probably remain but I digress.] I don’t have too many childhood memories, worth repeating. (A trauma response or maybe lack of childhood completely.) I don’t have many childhood photos either actually.[which is why I love my photo albums so much.] I’d have a 5 year old right now if I didn’t miscarry and nobody knows that unless you’re someone that’s reading this right now. I grew up with a very hard working single mother, so from like 3rd grade til 12th off but mainly on. I was walking myself to school and home..just home alone for the most part for a very long time[which is probably why I hate co dependency or don’t understand it as I never got the chance to experience it.] OR I found myself wanting to be in the house with my family, but not wanting to explain that a part of me is enjoying the fact I’m not home alone! So it might’ve looked like I had an unhealthy attachment to being a homebody, let alone my mother [but realistically although I was around my mother I didn’t get the opportunity to truly spend time with the woman growing up! and I actually like her as a human being so to be able to catch up on time became important to me.] So now with that background knowledge imagine how annoying it is to hear “you’re boring.” Yet it’s nothing I was willing to do about that because people didn’t know the underlying details of my life to understand why I am how I am, as I also didn’t see the benefit of sharing like I am now. [lol inner child healing they call it.] I have LITTLE[less than 10] to no extend relatives like cousins as they simply aren’t good people among other things.[and I will never subject myself to endure in the name of a bloodline that has done nothing but contribute to said trials]. So the family dynamic I unintentionally built up through this website & internet is sincerely the most I have, and I am extraordinarily thankful for it.

(all this makes me cry when I speak about it or as I type it up I start to tear up.) 
I started working on this blog mid November or so. Around that time I realized what my problem was and it has taken me til the week of January 5th to not cry when I reread or work on it and that’s also why it’s written in present and past tense.

I’ve learned to understand every walk of life in order to respect what I’ve learned from it but I’ve never taken the time to be upset or feel in general because my time is taken up being a team player. I just carry my hurt. 

I carry my hurt and then wonder why I’m so angry and feel entitled to experiencing better. When really I’m angry because I know I deserve better than victimizing myself  wasting time trying to figure out what doesn’t make sense. Like being broken up with completely sporadically to leave me wondering for a year+ “What did I do?” to be told “You didn’t do nothing.” but still it’s been too long and the betrayal was too strong so now… you have a hard time getting use to people romantically as you think “something’s got to be wrong with me?” then you develop a habit of being pretty careless since you’re waiting for people to leave, like they always do. <That break up made me cry every day/night for a year, I was my most angry and easily irritated + It has to be a science to it because I was always 1 to have a nightmare occasionally. Then after that I started having intense nightmares every night to the point I’d wake up shaking. Which is another set back that’s adds onto the frustration because sleep is suppose to be a form of peace and I feel like, better yet I know, my abandonment issues follow me into my sleep? Pathetic, embarrassing to explain as well.>  Or the fact people usually only want me on their own terms/time and once I’m no longer beneficial or so selfless suddenly my character is soooooooo jaded. Yet with that common knowledge I’m still a serial team player[probably because I know how it feels to be inconvenienced by this life shit from a lack of having help/companionship and I don’t ever want to be an inconvenience as such]. So I disregard the fact people are more often then not manipulative. Therefore I am often manipulated in the sake of being over-standing so again, I get upset. Unfortunately my upset boils over into misdirected aggression resulting in me shutting everybody out. ‘Bag Lady’ – Erykah Badu

My days and coping mechanisms have gotten better specifically when I started putting me first.
I did something for someone a few days ago and it didn’t make me feel good, the way it made them feel good and I thought…”Yea, I need to consider the fact I just disregarded me to satisfy someone else.” Like why do I not feel the same importance to honor me as I sacrifice parts of myself to aid people who I feel are of that importance?

I use to be like “I’m so glad I’m not a victim of this cruel world.” Whole time… I too am a victim as such. It’s just the fact I was a victim of my circumstances due to the same world I thought I was outsmarting but really just adapting to emotional unavailability. Which cut my emotional intelligence short and that deprived me from being emotional in general [I didn’t cry for a very* long time]. But we’ve learned! as we’ve lived and we have taken accountability to not only try to undo BUT change because I myself recognize I deserve to do better presented by me, myself, and I. It’s all about knowing you deserve better and being aware you know better than what you decide to do, based on comfort, and you navigate from there. Bettering yourself is easier to think about rather than to do when you’ve become use to the repetitiveness. For me at least it was always easier to stay linear to comfort as I knew the outcome of dealing the same s***. I knew it was an issue but the fact working with the “issue(s)” instead of working on myself was just… easier. You gotta want [it] more than you want s*** to just work! ‘Self Love’ – Mavi


Finding friends has always been “hard” for me. In grade school I didn’t have many friends, I was just there which was fine as I didn’t really talk much in my younger days. Middle school I thought I had some friends but to be fully aware people might not actually like you but it’s nothing you can do about it because they’re all you got is… what it is. Now at my bigger age I have finally found my people. Oh how I adore them, to be embraced by, valued by, loved on, I love my friends. I think everyday I give thanks for “my people”, I finally found my people. I’ll probably never be able to explain why I value my friends the way I truly do(but I’m about to try). It’s nothing more than they allow me to see and enjoy the capability of true love from a world that has given me such a hard f****** time. My friends, it’s an interesting dynamic as they believe I’m so kind and so on. As I like to say in return “I’m a reflection of you.” but it’s the truth. [So sometimes I wonder if they’re aware they’re some of the sweetest beings as what they extend to me I send right back.] It took this year for me to really realize I needed people, foreal. Nothing makes me happyer than the fact I have people now. People I mean something to, not even from a validating standpoint they just look forward to me!!!! Even as I’ve went through my personal battles among myself they are still happy I’m here with no expectations of me other than to show up. I’m loved, and I’ve never felt that before [which is why my lust life created a very desperado version of me]. I’m aware I have been appreciated by many but I am also aware I was not loved as a whole being. If anything I was encouraged to change and now I’m around some people who love me because I am me, and I Try. Wholeheartedly. They teach me, they nurture me in ways they’re unaware of. Nothing will ever bring me as much joy or satisfaction as my loved ones, my friends. Which is why I get so damn upset when men try to infiltrate the importance of what friendship is to me to satisfy their sexual desires, it offends me deeply. My friendships are personal to me, to trust me enough to share your world with me?! I can get to know you? It makes you wanna stay on earth and look forward to being here as you look forward to the people around you. It’ll forever be my honor to do right by who have provided me with what I thought I didn’t need because I never experienced it without sufferance as a co-sign to prove my worthiness to know what it felt like to have love, kindness, patience, and appreciation extended to me with no stipulations. ‘Family’ – Blood Orange ft. Janet Mock

And of course I still find myself struggling in someways some days but I keep trying with the best of my efforts, truth behind my intent, and being prepared to take accountability of the part I’ve played in whatever to help me as my emotions emote. Like I said after a while you get tired and you really realize your eagerness to DO BETTER than what’s been done outweighs your weary. This is coming from someone who had the tendency to sabotage the good just to be comforted by the sad because that’s all I knew how to be and now I’m deciding it’ll probably be easier to be… me, in the best ways I can be. ‘RUNITUP’ – Tyler, The Creator



I had to start over 1000 times and this is probably my 11th life but I am here, willing to start again if need be. 

Full Circle Half Empty

my life has been full circle the last couple months, may i humbly say…i’d consider it “complete”[as time has progressed i have decided that my life in its entirety isn’t “complete” but more specifically a phase..the first one…in which i’ve been working on for years.]
also a part of me goes back in forth with the idea i might be thinking to “low” when i say that, but honestly it feels right to say. and when i change my mind to consider i might be wrong.. it’s really not from the perspective of me but more so what the world pushes you to feel about your everything.
it’s always more that can be done or obtained and for whatever reason being comfortable is never enough.
oh the irony in that! [when you’re hardbody and think about how sweet a soft day would be. or when you’ve adapted to being uncomfortable for such a long time, when s*** isn’t hard you don’t know how to function with leisure.]

*a conversation for another day would be how comfort is being given the same context as greed, but that’s neither here nor there right now.

i assume i’ll never be 100% with the dynamics that make up my everything as nobody is perfect but i consider myself a circle and at this time im full as in complete but empty.
maybe my circle isn’t complete because i always find myself getting halfway full then it starts to deplete then.. i wake up and it’s empty. and honestly i don’t feel anyway about it because i’ve taken the time out of living too understand myself more and it’s more to be understood(for example why can’t i maintain happyness? or whatever that fills up my circle. CERTAINTY!!! for example i manage to get to like 66% these days before it’s time to try it all over again.)

as i’ve lived, i feel like i make progress then i find myself reliving shit i thought i learned from. eventually i caught on to the fact i adapted to damaged control ~ although i knew the outcome of what i was doing, unfavorable or not, it gave me a sense of control when navigating it.
which is so silly.
and this full circle half empty reoccurrence is life reliving that ..but maybe emotionally?[i wish i could go back in time to just watch how many days i’d maintain peace. to know if on average growing up i managed to have…let’s say..11 good days before it was just striped from under me and now my brain just allows me 11 then self destructs as a natural reaction, get me?]
in addition to that im not sure about much of anything or how to even assess anything after that last sentence but i will say, im alright or my best self right now. yet it’s a form of emptiness that comes with that called “well what’s next?” what do i do now.

full circle half empty by me

and as i write im starting to realize that, that the “emptiness” i maintain is because im to busy dwelling on the fact i don’t have the answers as i always do and it’s no problem to solve to know anything.. so now im just doing on my own accord… and i know no freedom as such that’s equivalent to freedom of self where you figure stuff out beyond what you’re use to.

i have a slight theory that i have advanced passed “damage control” to understand that i have no eagerness to partake in self sabotage out of curiosity, boredom, or uncertainty as an escape goat for what might just be me experiencing a pure form of peace.
im chilling.
so within that theory im stuck at a place of not having the answers while being eager to experience to contribute to what has become FULFILLING TO ME.

truth be told im also slightly scared that maybe if i take this time to just enjoy how far i’ve come, maybe im missing out or could be using my time better.[but what’s better than self awareness/growth?]
i notice that i have to remind myself, a lot of things, but that uncertainty is just me seconding guessing myself.

{its a note to self on this page that says “i should really just take the time to enjoy a picnic to be proud of the fruit im bearing from my labors before my back starts hurting or start spilling fruit.”}

i hope everybody is taking time to get right with themselves as your just as important as the elements you make up
always, all ways

I MIGHT BE!…the problem

Self sabotage, sex!, and selfishness

These n****s sure do know how to fake it til they make something turn into nothing. I be feeling like dmx “what these b*****s want from a n****” foreal.

I find it to be interesting but unfortunate that I think I might just be the demise of my love life. I was trying to assess why I don’t “trust” men and it was becoming apparent that I block my own POTENTIAL blessings, thinking for them, and that’s rooted from my self esteem… I guess.

See I don’t see anything wrong with me as an individual but as a unit? I don’t understand why anyone would ever want to deal with me honestly. I feel like that because I underestimate my attributes (outside of sex) or since the few heartfelt instances I’ve had with “love” I never held the opposite sex accountable to declare anything to me, and that’s because I’m. I mean I was** a very low maintenance b**** (which wasn’t a “bad” thing to me since I have this idea that love shouldn’t be hard anyways). And when you see and hear how you should be, what people prefer, or just being observant of what others are use to I X myself out the way for them because I myself feel like am not liner to the standard of.

In addition to that it’s depth to my understanding and selfless selfishness..
I’m iffy on the idea of compromise as I stand by often; I feel like if I want to embark on someone I should be willing to accept + adjust to their everything, most importantly their love, and vice versa. I’m usually not willing to do that, especially just based on someones “interest” regarding me. Because of that I dead s*** just to avoid from wasting someone else’s time since I’m stubborn, I don’t even want to try. As I’ve gotten older I feel like I been slightly outgrowing this drastic idea of co-existing with someone romantically. The analytical side of me will take some time to surrender the idea if I choose to ultimately because I’m big on fairness and that’s the only fair and square way to join forces. Which as I think some more is stemming from control, because again I don’t trust men but before we get sidetracked…

I feel like people should appreciate that I don’t make them deal with me under these skeptic conditions and they don’t! In fact it’s like they try to force me into trying and it does nothing more than make me fight back by being careless and uncommunicative.

I say all this to say outside of what could be considered excuses, I might just be the problem.

Usually how it goes is some young man tries to be friendly and 97 percent of the time, I shut it down. The flirting is never flattering or appreciated from the start and I’m already thinking it’s an ulterior motive (you can tell how they talk). My dealings with men are also nothing more but sex driven to the point I don’t really know how to be receptive of kindness if you’re a complete** stranger once it gets to a certain point because I already know what’s good. (None of this applies to the young men who establish friendship, in which you can sense differently than the cosplay.) That s*** offends me because I take my platonic relationships so personally and that’s trying to be infiltrated.

A lot of men like to be predators and build in order to fuck and it blows me! So look how my mind works with that, I’m already anticipating the bull**** so why not get to the point and save us both the agony? Men like to be right just as much as they like to break something that was already fixed and when doing that bull**** it offends me even more since they’re ultimately trying to insult my intelligence. It’s just something about men I can’t trust and the irony of it all is I feel like I don’t have “trust issues” yet my intuition has never let me down..

So you know..

And even if I was the problem due to warped self esteem I don’t even know where to start to fix it. I would say progressions is allowing everybody a chance but why would I waste my time like that? Right, I guess this is something that’s going to take time or just something to think about whether I want to “fix” it or not. I found it to be an interesting take.

I wonder what’s good with the people who know it’s a high chance they’ll be single for life. I feel like we are out here humbly enduring us being so misunderstood.

Until next time, Wishing everybody Peace x Joy x Prosperity Always, All Ways
– Aunty XOXO

I’m Doing Fine.

I’ve officially outgrown my desire for likes and all that superficial shit because what I put into the world is timeless, it’s enjoyed by those who need to experience it. And that itself I’m thankful for.

I find myself stumbling across opportunities to work with and become friends with people who once inspired me, and that’s because of me as a person and my persistence. I feel like that’s enough honestly because I’m proud they see what they’ve contributed to. Especially while I feel like you can say I’m a “nobody” if you solely base my online presence over my ability to preform, which I understand if you do.

All in all I’m being recognized, acknowledged, and appreciated behind closed doors for sure, in the very least, which is fine by me.

It’s a bigger everything to every action and I’m no longer eager to be what the world deems “successful” because I’ve successfully figured out how to allow my words, art, + everything else to co-exist in the world without expectation, which has humbled my disappointment and feeling of being “disregard”.

I’m chilling. I’m growing up. I’m learning. I still feel like I’m great but just don’t know what I’m doing, but I do know Ima be alright. I’m no longer splitting my attention and dedication with “seeking”— resulting in throwing off my ability to be focused on what I, can, do! I’m excited and underwhelmed. I’m proud of me.

Like I say “I don’t think I’m anything, I know I’m everything. And everything isn’t meant for everybody” that’s the truth. It’s okay. It was a tweet (if I can find it I’ll link it) but it said something along the lines of “you become disconnected when you look at your talents as a commodity that’s not paying off.” And now that I’ve gotten over that… I feel more certain about what I’m doing and can’t wait to do more instead of feeling like I’m failing, I’m doing fine.

I feel back to normal, when I started all this I did it to get my feelings off mainly. I wanted to be open about not know, being wrong, and whatever else that comes with life and somewhere along the journey of just talking on the internet I got greedy. The society I was battling I joined forces with unintentionally and let it slow me down. And I had the nerve to allow it to make me question what I know best about myself. Being that I can write!!

Talk to y’all later! Wishing everybody Peace x Joy x Prosperity always, all ways – Aunty


No main bitch formed against me shall prosper

I owe myself loyalty.

Being in my 20s along with dealing with young men in their 20s, as in grown, their loyalty is not my responsibility or sole concern.

It’s not my job to make sure your love treats you respectfully especially if I don’t even know you or I’m not your friend.

The frustration is always taken out on the “side” bit- which should be least of anyone’s worries. The question isn’t “well how did she entice him?” Yet why he felt and decided to participate in stepping out of his relationship with all disregards of his partner.

I also feel like if you get stepped out on it’s right to be emotionally disturbed but to dwell on it even after being “forgiving” of the situation(s) is pointless when the answer to resolve it would simply be removing yourself from the relationship all together. Instead people want to feel as if they are an necessity when in all actuality we don’t jeopardize things we “NEED” deeming you a want but not necessarily a need which I can see as shocking.

Your disappointment, which gets projected as micro-aggression, shouldn’t be towards a person that probably didn’t even know you existed or! Doesn’t even look at you as someone of importance to the point they wouldn’t want to disappoint you. (that person being the side bitch)

In regards to the women who purse men in relationships, I have no words for them. You’re lovers loyalty still doesn’t have anything to do with them. Overall I’m referring to the women who don’t get the entire truth about a persons relationship status, or don’t find it to be their job to cosplay inspector gadget to assure their love interest isn’t in a relationship and cheating.

Ultimately if a person has a plan to cheat they’re going to follow correct procedures to do so anyways.

No matter how you spin  the situation it’s never the cheatee’s fault.

Ex: If I know a man is in a relationship, I purse him, he doesn’t stop me in my tracks and shut everything down then that’s on him. He’s the only one to take accountability that he didn’t stay true to his partner regardless of intent.

Apology Shmology

An Apology is

1. a) an admission of error or discourtesy accompanied by an expression of regret. b) an expression of regret for not being able to do something.

2. a) something that is said or written to defend something that other people criticize. b) excuse.

I know and understand the significance of an apology ideally. It’s to right wrongs, acknowledge mistakes, and so on but essentially they rub me the wrong way.

I was never a fan of accepting an apology, I tried for the sake of the people who give them to me but it doesn’t feel sincere to accept such a, what I consider worthless, gesture. I assume I appreciate hearing someone say their faults in situations but after that I much rather them deal with that among themselves.

I’ll always feel like “you did it, own it, because if you really knew how it would effect me or make me feel you probably would’ve refrained from doing yet! You wanted to do it, so you did it. Own it.” I don’t look at that as grudge holding either I relate it to accountability.

It might also be the only way I can control something that has gotten out hand because in wise reconsideration the ball is back in my court and I can determine what’s next. In a sense it brings me satisfaction that you can’t enjoy yourself due to your guilt, brings me even more satisfaction knowing you’re aware you let me down.

I’ll link a read regarding how I do move forward, if I decide to, without accepting an apology essentially here.

S/N: Just because I decline you’re apology doesn’t imply I have any resentment towards you and also won’t still interact with you.

Short Sermon: An Eye for An Eye

People who fuck over the ones who love them often have a hard time accepting love in the long run due to the fact THEY’VE watered down what it means to love someone.

Love holds no significance to them anymore.

Essentially they are simply just avoiding their own karma afraid that what they once done to someone else can now be done to them. They can’t trust anyone because they took the trust people had for them and used it maliciously.

Aside from stunting the growth and finally enjoying the feelings of falling in love or being in love. After given enough thought, if you’ve ever loved someone so much and had it actually sincerely reciprocated, whether it be a friend or lover.. you realize these kind of people probably will never experience that genuineness. To live a life where the people YOU choose to have around you, you can’t trust therefore causing you to settle in suppressed emotions such as anxiousness, worry, and lack there of is a life I can’t imagine. Especially regarding with my friends.

The question is, how do you prove to someone as such that you love them without overstepping what it is to love into manipulation due to the fact that they’re the ones scared of being love?

Wishing everybody much Peace, Joy, and Prosperity! All ways, Always.

“How does it feel in America?”: Dark Skin

Now before I get started understand I’m willing to receive a lot of hate in order to defend what I’m fond of , respect me for it ! At least I’ll burn with integrity

We often “speak for” with the idea we know although we haven’t lived through to experience. When really the most we can do is listen and understand in most instances while not invalidating perceptions, feelings, and truths because they don’t correlate with the idea we’ve developed ourselves from the outside looking in. To respect, acknowledge, and try to be receptive the best we can are little steps that can embark big change.

The point is to bring “awareness” not saying anyone who participated in this is a victim but to shed light on “how it feels…” because every feeling counts.

So I ask “How does it feel to be Dark Skin in America?”

“For a long time I hated it! I didn’t necessarily hate my skin… I hated what people associated with my skin color! Since I’m not and never were the negative things people said and thought about people with darker skin.”


“Being dark skin in America feels like being an alien… we get degraded and passed up on, I used to hate being dark skin I heard every joke in the book, especially from guys. We’re always compared to a person of lighter skin tones, we have to work twice as hard to look good because we’re dark skin, and people only like dark skin people right now because we’re a trend. We started embracing ourselves and now everybody wants parts of that. I get told “yeah you’re cute, for a dark skin.” when in reality I’m cute as fuck period! We are in our category, in our own race… we get racially profiled the most as well [a perfect example would be the skin chart from family guy implying that the darker skin are most likely to have done, anything].”


“As a dark skin male in America I feel the light colored skin tones are appreciated more, we are more prone to stereotypes (law enforcement/police brutality) and people at times are scared of me or already formed an opinion before even meeting me due to the color of my skin”


“I guess I’m what people consider “brown skin” I think I’m just black. I’m just a Black Girl. When I was younger all the boys at school would say I’m “burnt toast” and I’d be confused like ” I’m brown but I’m not dark skin. It got to a the point I hated it and wanted to be light skin so bad. I still wanted my blackness, I just wanted to be light. Because of that I was able to notice my own colorist ways and changed it, I love my brown skin! It can be dark it can be whatever but I don’t want it to be a “wave”. For example Darker girls are only “the wave” on social media or if they have certain features. The objective is to love our Black beauty no matter how light or dark it is. Let’s rid the community and the world of those terms all together

Black is Black is Black”


“Growing up I never really considered myself “dark” or any other complexion I just always assumed I was just “Black” no in between. As I got older going through school that’s when other kids would refer to me as “dark” when comparing me to them or just in general. I started to realize the term being used within my own family and how they used it to describe people with deeper skin tones. At the time it didn’t make me feel any way, until I started to get the “You’re pretty for a black girl.”, “You’re cute for a dark skin”, “I don’t usually talk to dark skins but I would talk to you.” that shit really did get under my skin after a while because I don’t get why my skin color has to be mentioned at all. My facial features are my facial features and I would look like this no matter what shade my skin was in…So if I was lighter would they have told me ” You’re cute for a light skin girl”? I highly doubt it. Which was the most annoying part because to me it was like “You’re treating me different than you would treat someone else or who is lighter than me” but I eventually stopped caring about it though. At this point I feel like it’s a lot of complexion slander now a days where every complexion talks about each other and essentially it’s all just non sense. I don’t know who, why, or what deemed it necessary that each culture must have some type of complexion shaming in order to have certain people feel superior than others that are the same ethnicity as them but it’s happening and it’s keeping us divided as Black people. All I know is no matter who you are, what you look like, or how dark your skin is you are no less or no more than anybody else on this doomed ass earth. We all breathe the same polluted ass air so people need to act accordingly and humble themselves and stop acting like skin tone gives them ranking in actual factual life.”

Versace Hottie

“America’s perception of us hurts, we’re shown almost everyday that our complexion is fear by the rejection we receive, but we we’re born with everything they lack, beauty. The ugly hate they show only makes me love my skin more.”


“Being Dark skin in America is definitely not something I’m ashamed of. I’ve heard all of the stereotypes and jokes about how I’m supposed to be “Ain’t shit” or a “deadbeat”, but it’s just more motivation to be more than that!

Kid Cato

“Umm what’s it like being Dark skin, mmm mm, I’ll tell you what it wasn’t like. It wasn’t accepting, it wasn’t loving, it wasn’t peaceful at times, it wasn’t positive, it wasn’t looked at as beautiful, it wasn’t appreciated, it wasn’t… it wasn’t what it is now. I mean that to say a trend, being dark skin is a trend, my dark skin to the next person is a trend, they want to be darker now. When I was younger to be dark skin was considered pretty much a crime. I’ll always remember being constantly teased, looked over, boys always laughing..girls.. you name it. Perfect example is even Lil Kim, a lot of people love to say she went to far with surgery and bleaching her skin but you have to understand when you’re praising self hate in you’re own community and you constantly hear it, you have no choice but to feel like you are different. It’s disgusting that so many people are upset with her appearance now when we’re the reason of her appearance, the reason for her low self esteem, we’re the reason for the self hate. It’s nauseating because it’s like “well how do you expect for me to see the beauty within myself when you don’t even see the beauty within me.” The point is understand when you’re around the hate of people telling you your skin is to dark you automatically start to believe it.


“Being Dark skin in America was difficult. With people not accepting you because you’re a darker complexion, people talking shit because you’re dark, I believe it gets easier to love your skin tone when you’re older. When you’re younger you tend to follow the trend because you don’t know yourself yet. For me it was very hard to love my skin in middle/high school, people talking about me made my self esteem very low and at one point I wished I wasn’t dark. Now you can’t tell me shit! I love my skin, it’s so beautiful, a beautiful even tone, and I will never wish that I was light.

I love being black as fuck!


Faces of
The faces of the beautiful words given to us from left to right top, middle, then bottom row: Angel, Cato, Mariah, Myia, Taki, Chy, Jae, Nikai, Tay

Cover photo is courtesy of Mariah

Wishing everybody much peace, joy, and prosperity. Always All ways.

[S/N: If you’d like to share how it feels to be Dark skin in America for you the comment section is always open and welcoming.]